My heart was beating heavily in my chest as the leaves crackled below my black hiking boots. The heat of the shotgun in my hands beckoned me with hidden powers I had yet to uncover. The call of the forest rang in my ears as I searched for my concealed prey. I pushed forward even though the saner part of me wanted to return to the campsite.

I stopped in my tracks debating on my next move. I could not even recall why I was doing this in the first place. As in response to my unsaid question, a bush nearest me began to rustle. I waited, shotgun raised.

"Hey, dufus."

"You freaking idiot!" I yelled at my brother as he emerged from the green. "I could've killed you!"

"Yeah, right," he said, cockily smiling his white toothy smile. I wanted to blow his teeth right out for being so damn perfect. "You couldn't hurt a fly."

"Speaking of flies, buzz away."

He laughed as he removed his camouflage hat uncovering his short blonde hair; another perfect quality of my twenty-two year old brother's looks. His caramel brown eyes shined in the light seeping through the canopy, and I despised how he made this look as if it did not faze him, whereas I just wanted it all to end.

"You're such a pussy," he said, pushing my camouflage hat off my head with his nicer yet more used shotgun. "You just should've been born a girl."

"Shut up!" I yelled. "I'm just not this type of guy!"

"You're not any type of guy! You rather hide behind your books and read about people doing these things instead of actually being out there and doing it yourself! You're a wuss. I can't believe I'm your brother."

"Well, that makes two of us," I responded, hurt from his word sinking into me.

"Eighteen and not even a man. Pathetic."

"I am a man! I'm just not a killer!"

My voice rang through the forest silencing all the creatures. My brother stared at me with disgust gleaming in his eyes. My eyes stared right back and I hoped they showed my anger in all its fury. From the look on his face, my eyes did not fail me.

"You were always mom's favorite," he declared.

"And you were dad's," I reminded him. "He hates me because I'm not like you. I don't like working with tools or killing things."

"No, just like mom, you rather hide in books and do nothing."

"Nothing?! You just hate me because I actually got into college whereas you work for some crappy business cutting grass!"

I saw as something inside him snapped and he strolled towards me until we were face-to-face. His tobacco-reeking breath hit my face making me want to choke right there. We stared at each other neither moving for a minute.

"You will never be a man," he said through clenched teeth. "Fool yourself all you want, but you will never have what it takes to be a real man."

There was a sudden movement to my left and the two of us quickly turned to look. We watched as a doe slowly walked away and suddenly I forgot that we had been fighting and an animalist lust filled my veins. The doe had now unwillingly become my new prey.

My idiot brother took a step forward landing on an easily crackled leaf. The doe's head quickly turned and it suddenly began to run. My brother and I quickly sprang into action after it chasing it through the lush green of the forest.

I ran letting the sound of leaves lead me. Adrenaline rushed through me and the power of the shotgun penetrated through my soul drowning me in the lust of the kill. I grew in speed and my senses bloomed. I wanted to kill that doe.

I continued to push through the bushes and the semi-darkness of the forest reaching forth with the tip of my gun. I listened intently needing to hear where my prey had gone. I could hear nothing but the beating of my own heart and the sound of my feet hitting the ground. I stopped quickly in my tracks and waited. I took slow deliberate steps forward and found my brother crouching on the ground looking straight ahead.

"Where did it go?" I asked.

"Shh!" he whispered. "You'll scare it."

I crouched down next to him and searched through the green of the leaves and I listened to the surrounding. The call of the wild had returned; birds chirping, leaves blowing, animals living. I searched harder for any sign of movement, but my eyes were not made for the uneven lighting of the woods.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are," my brother chanted to the wind.

Suddenly, I heard a rustling from my left and I immediately turned to look. Through the thickness of the bushes I saw the body of my prey. My brother, on the other hand, continued to look the opposite way waiting for signs that would not appear. I did not want him to take my glory, so I crouched away as quietly as I could. Not once, did he turn to see where I was.

I walked through the bushes and slowly stood up holding my gun closer to me. I had lost the doe in my concentration of escape, but I continued to listen for the sign that I knew would come. And come they did.

I saw the doe walking about thirteen feet away and slowly making its way farther. I took a few steps towards it, but I miscalculated and stepped on a loud leaf. It began to run, and I ran right after it not wanting to lose it again. I could not let it get away from me. This doe was my last chance to prove myself as a man to my brother and everyone else.

The doe ran fast, and keeping up was quite a task especially with fallen logs and thick bushes getting in my way. I used the head of my shotgun to push any green getting in my way keeping my eyes targeted on the doe. I jumped over a large fallen log and landed on my knee, but I was too worked up to care about the pain.

I pushed through a heavy bush and escaped with scratches all over me. I leaned over and took a deep breath trying to calm my racing heart down. I closed my eyes and listened to the woods. I could still hear the doe running, getting farther from me by the second. I relaxed my muscles and prepared myself for more. Then there was silence.

My brother's voice rang in my mind: "You will never be a man. Fool yourself all you want, but you will never have what it takes to be a real man."

I stood up and began running forward again closing in on the distance the doe put between us. That doe was my shot to show my brother that I was more of a man than he would ever be. That animal was my only chance to show my father that he favored the wrong son. That creature was the last thing I needed to prove to myself I was worth something. I refused to let it get away!

I ran faster feeling my heart begin to race again and the adrenaline helping me continue on. I let my feet make as much noise as I could, and I held my scepter of power closer to me feeling its trigger begging to be pulled. I wanted that beast to know I was coming for it; to know that this fight was far from over.

I reached a clearing and there it was waiting. The doe stood mockingly with its head looking away. I lifted the gun and poised it, aimed at the beast's head. My finger began to itch with the need to pull that loving trigger. I made sure that my aiming was completely on target when it turned to look at me.

"You will never be a man. Fool yourself all you want, but you will never have what it takes to be a real man."

"Goodbye," I told the doe.

There was sudden rustling and out of the bush next to the beast came out a fawn. My arm fell as I watched the fawn curl next to the doe. She was a mother. I had almost killed a mother and left a poor fawn orphaned. I let the gun fall from my grip as I watched them walk away.

I slowly walked backwards and I leaned against a dying tree. I almost became something worse than a man; a murderer. I let my jealousy of my brother transform me into the man I never wanted to be. I almost became the man I fought so hard never to become.

No. I was better than this. This was not who I wanted to be.

I looked at the shotgun one last time and turned my back to it as I walked away.

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