The way I learned to swim when I was about 13 years old came from complete faith, not exactly 'my'� complete faith, but from someone else's.

We lived on the edge of a beautiful 80 acre lake in Land O' Lakes, Florida. The lake was a literal ZOO of critters including some I still have never heard of. We had a nine foot alligator that we affectionately referred to as 'Bessie,'� water moccasins as long as our row boat, and Gar-Fish, which from the looks of them are part needle nose sea monster and part alligator. I don't know if you've ever seen one, but you'll get a glimpse of the prehistoric when you do.

Each day, regardless of the aquatic critters, my little Sister Daphne and I would jump in that lake and go out as far as we dared to without the water going over our heads as neither one of us were swimmers yet. We were more waders and splashers than anything else.

We had figured out that if you held a plastic one gallon milk jug under your chin with the lid tightly screwed on, and wrapped your arms around it that you could paddle around the entire lake like an expert if you wanted to without even getting your face wet.

On the fateful day that I was to learn, involuntarily, to swim ' we had run out of one gallon plastic milk jugs. I complained, sulked, kicked at one of the many mounds of fire ants that lived in our back yard. With shoulders hunched up to my ears like Richard Nixon, I walked around with arms folded in utter indignation. Without that plastic one gallon milk jug I was grounded, just plain and simple. It was like having learned that you could fly and doing that any time you wanted, and then one day your wings melted'� and you could no longer gain lift off.

Bottom line here was that wading and splashing just would not do after having had the power of the plastic one gallon milk jug.
So, my step-dad, or step-monster 'Rocky,'� decided to shut me up from moaning and groaning about my state of affairs on that particularly Hot Florida day. I 'really'� wanted to get my regular plastic one gallon milk jug joy ride.

Rocky told me to get into his motor boat, which by the way would normally be a treat and some kind of reward for chores done extra fast and extra well, but on this day I asked 'why'� I was invited in to the prized motor boat, let's say because I knew I had not won a Nobel prize for stellar behavior.

When I asked 'why'� again, Rocky said; 'jist never ye mind 'why,'� get in.
Something told me their was an adventure ahead and it didn't feel exactly like one I would have chosen for myself if I'd had my druthers'�.turns out, I was right!




Rocky started the little outboard motor and it complained and moaned, almost as much as I had that day, with its usual putt-putt-putt, off we 'lurched'� toward the middle of the lake.

Feigning fearlessness, I sat there in that little motorboat with my lips pursed so tight you could hardly tell I had any. Finally, Rocky spoke; he always called me Moe-Diddley when one of his Kentucky up-bringing lessons were coming, he said; 'Moe Diddley,'� yer a-gonna learn ta swim taday-and I reckon now is as good a time as any.'�

His simple, yet mind numbingly articulate words left me feeling as though I had just had the blind fold taken off, while standing in front of a firing squad waiting for the signal to fire.

With Rocky's announcement, he slowed the boat, put the engine on idle, and stood up. Squinting up at him in the sunlight, he looked to be about 15 feet tall, a very big man.

I had no exact idea of what Rocky had in mind but I knew it would be something to write home about even when I was already home. Rocky wobbled the boat as he came toward me, shaken; I grabbed the sides of the boat to steady it. Rocky then said; 'now jist RELAX. If you can't think of anything else to do, or can't remember anything else jist remember this one word; 'RELAX.'�

With that, he snatched me from my seat where I was perched as solidly as an anchor and tossed me into 'Bessie's'� playground, Head First! Now if this weren't a recipe for Irritable Bowel Syndrome, I wouldn't know why!

We were in some pretty deep water mid lake, and this was especially deep water when you factor in the fact that I was without a plastic gallon milk jug! This, ironically was why I was taken out there in the first place. I sensed I was probably in some pretty deep doo-doo if matters weren't bad enough already, because 'Bessie'� the alligator ran that lake like a prison warden on death row.

First of all, I couldn't believe that he actually tossed me into that lake like some kind of smelly fish bait, and secondly the water was a sort of green-murky color way out in the middle, which spoke volumes of its depth. I COULD NOT ALLOW myself to even consider the depth, as I had never been in over my head before.

I became instantly present to the gratitude I felt of having taken maybe the deepest breath of my lifetime as Rocky's big hands grabbed hold of my shoulders and tossed me into that freezing water.

Now, having successfully, up until then anyway, maneuvered through my earliest childhood waters, I prayed I would be at least that proficient in the deepest part of our critter laden yet beautiful lake.

As I felt the chill of the water gather all around me like a welcoming party made for just this occasion, I felt myself fall deeper and deeper and deeper still I fell-with eyes open wide. I struggled to find out which end of me was up. With what seemed like an eternity, I finally saw the dancing of the sunlight above me, WAY above me.

Through the green murky water, I fixed my eyes on only that vision. I was intent upon somehow heading in the direction above me as I was quite sure I had heard the sunlight ask me to dance, I just prayed it wasn't actually 'Bessie's'� invitation.

Suddenly, Rocky's voice boomed into my head just as I was running out of air and out of hope of seeing dry land again, unless, of course I had the aid of a newfound pair of angel wings to assist me. 'RELAX!'� I heard in my mind again.

I looked around with eyes wide to see nothing but inner space and asked myself what I had to lose by Relaxing. Clearly, the struggle, resistance and fighting I was using was making me as heavy as a box of rocks, and I was still falling deeper and deeper.

With sudden courage and resignation I decided to stop struggling and just let the beautiful lake take care of the rest of my reservation with destiny. I relaxed in a way I did not know I was capable of. I had even stopped being concerned with the ticking clock in my lungs. I just LET GO. I put my arms out to meet my maker and closed my eyes, suddenly I was filled with peace.

As I went within, I felt the sensation of rising. I smiled to myself and thought, 'WOW,'�
Dying is not so bad. It feels just like floating. Turns out, I WAS floating. Up & up & up, and further still up!

I gingerly opened my eyes to see the sunlight's fingertip reach down and let me grab hold of it like a newborn finding its Mothers finger for the first time. The more I relaxed, the more joy filled me. I was buoyant!!!

My nose popped up out of the depths first. I used that opportunity to cautiously take a breath, Eureka! I tasted air again, delicious fresh air!!! By now, I noticed the rest of me coming to the surface of the lake. Very much like 'Bessie'� when she wishes to show herself in all her glory as she swims along seamlessly through the water.

I was present to becoming one with Bessie the alligator, the needle-nosed sea monster gar-fish, the water moccasins, blue gills, and bass. We were all a family and I sensed them individually supporting me. As I rose to the surface, I noticed that I began fluttering my hands like little fish when they hover in one spot. This action gave me a kind of steering wheel, and next I used my feet in very much the same way. All very small experimental subtle motions, but all effective in helping me stay afloat. I was clearly no swimmer, more like the equivalent of a fish out of water.

I instinctually began allowing my arms to reach out and grab water to push me along, which gave me, to my amazement, the speed of the motorboat that had brought me out there. I turned my head slightly to spot our shoreline, and on my back like a new kind of sea critter, I propelled myself toward home.

What a Zen experience I was having, so calm and so peaceful when I stopped fighting, so intuitive as to what to do next, and while I wasn't exactly 'swimming'� I wasn't drowning either!

When I pulled myself from the water, I was received by a self-satisfied toothless grin from Rocky, who stood there laughing. He cackled; 'see there Moe Diddley-now ye don't need no plastic milk jug ta go a-swimmin!'�

What can I say, he was right about that'�but he was also about as paternal or subtle as killing an ant with a sledgehammer in his approach to teaching. I still don't trust swimming distance any other way than on my back, however, to improve my skills, I turned to a more suitable trainer'�my neighbors Boxer Dog 'Bambi'�'�who taught me how to dog paddle.

Now, considering that to my knowledge, Rocky hadn't previously committed murder in his lifetime, I have to believe he was just either off his back-woods rocker, or that he saw strength in me that I had not seen in myself.

For years I thought Rocky should never have had permission to parent because he was so careless with me on that day. Quite frankly, I was convinced he didn't actually care about me at all. But, looking back at the life lessons I have gained and applied from that experience, maybe he actually did.


Kate Romero © 2007

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