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She lies awake
Staring at the back of his neck
She is aroused
By the outline of his shoulders
Silhouetted by the light
Shining through the shades
They are caged by the dim rays
As they lay there in the South City night
She lies awake
Making love to the words
That come mumbling from his mouth
Verbal representations of dreams
She finds a way
To bend the light
Using her love like prisms
Distorting the beams in such ways
That even made Moon jealous
Outside pigeons paint the canvas
That is stretched tight over streets
Every flap of the wing
A brush stroke
Every brush stroke
Falls like rain
Every raindrop
Messages the skin of innocence
With a touch that only a mother can plagiarize
But for now
In the South City night
Every innocent touch
Is gone
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yeah, that second stanza was the quality! your first stanza had a lot of "S" sounds which really carried it nicely into the rest of the piece. i'm a big fan of these kinds of writing situations. you can tell a lot about the characters involved without giving too much obviousness away, yet it still paints a clear picture.
wow, this poem is brilliant. It lets me visualize everything, and its beautiful. I loved the part where it read "in such ways, that even made Moon jealous" Really good writing, I really enjoyed it.
