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There was a death in the street last night
And mourners are gathered at the site.
Her husband begins to groan
Her sons they lead the mourn.
Her friends are gathered there and take delight in the ware.
Her sisters now arrive, but yet already begin to fight.
They quarrel of this and that
Then fight over a crimson frock.
Her daughters are searching dear endeavor to find the will and the treasure.
Who will get the diamond necklace
The diamond so huge it's breathless
As for the sapphire ring only God knows what will happen
Her husband who looks so pale is really thinking of the widow next door is now ever so near.
There was a death in the street last night.
With mourners gathered at the site.
They fill their bellies and their tongue with laughter
but no one thinks of the morning after
Jauhar Al Akdar
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This is a wonderful poem, and I feel that it is an injustice to your talent to do it in rhyme. Rhyme hampers flow and the ability to say what is truely in the heart. Rhyme dictates the syntax, rather than the author having control over the opus.
In free verse, this would be gorgeous and original.
This is very sad and thoughtful and I like it. Sometimes, the words get a little unclear, though.
Also, "Her sisters now arrives" should be "Her sisters now arrive."
