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The Streets Slowly Breathe
The dog slumbers outside on the concrete slab
Belly up as if flashing the moon
Kids run through the alley like marauders in the night
Their war cries bounce off South Saint Louis brick
The wind shifts westward
Collecting the stench of the Mississippi
It seeps through the transom window
Infiltrating my three room shotgun house
Intoxicating breeze fills my nasal cavity
Breathing out tugboat steam
Which continually rises
Blocking our view of stars
Clouded by images of Mississippi superhighway sludge
I can almost smell the sound of barges cutting water
Over the scent of the train cutting wind
Faint cries are not lost in distant lots
K-9 howls are flooded by cat fight roars
Street lights remain on but many petering out
The dumpsters neath them are never cleaned
The back door must remain shut
Morning glory pedals are closed
Climbing up the chain link fence
The night is as still as it will get
As the streets slowly breathe
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A wicked write indeed, such a great insight on life itself and the painting shown, I felt as if I were there *^_^*
Wonderful work here @)~>~ |
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Comment by: zepol - 2007-09-25 20:53
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| Dante, I like this very much. The city scape is detailed very well. I have placed it in my library. |
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Comment by: Dante - 2007-08-08 19:12
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| Yeah, I haven't entered it yet, but probably will. I've been told that I repeat words too much. I guess that's just how I talk. I should probably distinguish my writing voice from my verbal voice. But then it wouldn't ring true to my own ears. Also, I think that when certain words or phrases are repeated at certain times, it strengthens that point. I dunno...Thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate the feedback. |
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| I like that the reader is able to grab a hold of picture. You describe so much in little time, no useless words. You repeat "Mississippi" and "cutting" maybe that could be revised a little but you really got some talent. I bet you entered this one in City Smells, huh? |
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