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yellowjacket
Sid Beckett
United Kingdom, Oxon, Banbury

Words: 348
Access: Public
Comments: 2

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A Step behind

He had first noticed the demon behind him 15 years ago, following him silently, invisibly, wherever he trod.

Christopher had just turned 30, an age which to most people heralds fears of aging or becoming like their parents, but the date was significantly more important to Christopher (Chris to his friends) as it marked the point where he had been with the demon longer than he had been without the demon. It was something which had been with him now for the majority of his life and all hopes of being rid of the demon had long since self-purged themselves from his conscience.

He had never seen the demon of course, but he knew it was there. He couldn't see it, hear it, feel it, smell it or touch it, and even if he'd been graced with a sixth sense such as that of telepathy he wouldn't have been able to read it or scan it. For various reasons he couldn't purposely record it on camera or tape, catch it in a mirror, ask a friend to check or turn around really quick and catch it off guard.
Sceptics may ask - with all evidence (or lack thereof) to the contrary - how Christopher knew the demon was there. He knew the same way that you or I would know if we were so afflicted: he just knew.

In that time, the demon had killed four people, and touched him directly three times. Out of the three times he'd been touched it had been an incident born of control, of the demon manipulating Chris and moving him in some way, taking control of his form when all else had failed in a to get him out of harms way. The touch was cold, and the only way Chris could describe the possession was as a "chilling of the soul".

However, the most recent touch had been the most disturbing, as the only thing Chris felt from the touch was compassion.

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That was the first chapter of a short story I am working on. It's been quite fun so far.

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Comments  
inviscera Comment by: inviscera - 2007-09-13 08:17
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In this passage, you provide the reader with sufficient information to bring them into your story, without giving anything away. An excellent set-up that immediately makes me want to read more.

The contrast between the fantastical content and the matter-of-fact delivery works well.
sherrybryan Comment by: sherrybryan - 2007-08-24 14:39
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This immediately piqued my interest. The writing is very strong, establishing your tone in the first few sentences. I hope you add more soon, quite interested to see where this will go.

That last sentence is a solid right hook. Fantastic.
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