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artkincell
Frank Galpin
United States, CT, Barkhamsted

Words: 188
Access: Public
Comments: 9

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Enlightenment

Passed by hundreds of people a day, no one cared to know, or find out how, a stale sliver of chocolate cake appeared. He relaxed cozily on the cool gray and black marble stairs, unaware that he was such an abhorrence to society that even hungry birds and famished furry creatures would not make a feast out of him.
The wind blew by and became a bit confused by him. She tried to blow the loose crumbs off of his crusty surface like spores, hoping to spawn another fresh pastry in a sunnier, friendlier place. Finally, the wind gave up too, leaving him to lounge lazily as he slowly rotted away, watching the busy world pass by as he did so.
Soon a curious fly landed and stuck its filthy proboscis deep into his hardened brown texture. That common housefly discovered his disguised elements. Among them, the golden wheat, blowing gracefully against the purple and crimson Kansas sunset, the hot steamy forest where his cocoa was born, to the Rhode Island Red, cackling proudly as she laid her perfect white eggs, the catalyst for the cake's batter.

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Comments  
JoanneMitch37 Comment by: JoanneMitch37 - 2007-09-04 09:17
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'Poetry from Pluto' on my Myspace page may interest you on this score.
I like the way you change from the cake to the wind to the fly - thus is the nature of enlightenment - I've done the whole cycle - if you get a mo check it out.
JM
Stevec Comment by: Stevec - 2007-08-29 14:21
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That's a pretty neat little story.

One thing that confused me is when you switched points of view from the cake to the wind in the second paragraph and then back again. Maybe you could reword that so that it's from the cake's point of view (I like the thought of crumbs as spores!)
Still thinking Comment by: Still thinking - 2007-08-26 12:22
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well what a write up!!!!!thankx a lot for the comment i would love it if u c a bit of my non-fiction "ignorance is bliss"
gregoryhall Comment by: gregoryhall - 2007-08-19 16:58
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I'll be there, man!
artkincell Comment by: artkincell - 2007-08-19 14:13
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Thanks, Gregory. I have more to add when I finish this story. It is all about what happens to the fly after he is enlightened.
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