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Accept
Reject
Love
Shove
Step up
Sod off
It's like it's meant to be
For everytime i'm accepted i'm rejected
I can count the amount of times i've fell in love
And the amount of times i've been shoved leaves the same fingers
Be prepared to step up and always sod off when told
It's all to beat the rumours.
All men that love women are players
And all women that love men are whores
It's all down to it's context
What's yours?
Are you open to religion?
Athiest?
If you're not i'll have to walk away
I'll find the perfect you another day
If your opinions change as much as mine do
I understand you're of the male variety so i wont expect too much of you
It's an observational fact that true love makes people boring
So i don't want you undying, no worries
Your construction or destruction is of no interest to me
Even though tommorrow i'll stare at the ceiling wishing you were here to talk to
You won't be the one i had uncontrollable phrases and phases for
The only one and he rejected me
So what does that say about me?
Lets just fight and shout over the music
It's not like everyone can remember every moral of every book they've ever read anyway
And if you're my stereotypical type
Which you must be because you've got me quoting Stipe
Then you'll be my yin.
You prefer the din to the flowing art of words, so no worries or thoughts of tommorrow.
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the rythem of this poem is very choppy, which i'm sure is the whole point...so its original.
the line:
Your construction or destruction is of no interest to me
is great.
I liked it. It grabbed me at the beggining and kept my interest - something most poems fail to do. The ending kind of sagged for me but maybe that was because I'm too old to feel that way. I know...boring.
this poem has a very lyrical sense to it and is full of inner-rhymes as well as end rhymes. i think the monologue quality works well for it. this is something i would definitely like to hear set to music.
in regards to critique, minimal focus on spelling and grammar; this really needs a fine tooth comb to go through and pick up the parts that are not working (ie: i've fell, your instead of you're, punctuation, etc.) i think that would be the best for your first revision.
