The Birthday Party

By Lisa Marie Mercer

"You did what?" I screamed at my husband. "Please, tell me this is a joke! Better yet tell me this is all a bad dream."
"Not a dream, but if you play your cards right, Babe, it could turn into a fantasy."
He was laughing. He thought this was funny.
'This is not funny! How could you do this? Why would you do this?"
"That's the same question I asked you this summer, Babe." There is sadness in his smirk. For a moment, I am ashamed of myself.
"Well tou-fucking-che!" I was still too proud to really apologize to him.
Old Chinese, (or is it Japanese, who knows, who cares?) curse: May You Live in Interesting Times.
You want interesting? You can't make this stuff up! My dear beloved husband Jonathan went to brunch with my former, for lack of a better term, lover, David La Vecchia.
"It's all going to be okay, Mariel," he said. "I just wanted to hear his side of the story, and set some ground rules."
"And what, may I ask is his side of the story?"
He looked me straight in the eye. His expression is serious. I felt like a child going for her first vaccination. This was going to hurt. I know it. I braced myself for the injection.
"He says he thinks you're a terrific person, beautiful, talented, and fun to be with. But he never thought of you as anything more than a good friend, and he's sorry that you misinterpreted his affections."
Memory flash: David takes my hands, and holds me to the wall. As I feel his hard on against me, he says, "Is this what you want me to do to you?" I guess I misinterpreted his affections.
"Yeah, I know. He's a theater person. He's friendly."
"That's what he told me," Jonathan replied.
For a moment, we shared a laugh at La Vecchia's expense.
"So what else did you talk about?" I asked. I got past the first shot. Now I'm a junkie, determined to shoot myself up with the bad news, until it destroys me.
"I told him about Vickie."
"Of course you did," I retort, unable to hide the sarcasm and bitterness in my voice.
Vickie was the married woman Jonathan was involved with, right before he met me.
At times, I still feel as though I'm living in her shadow.
Ignoring my unjustified tone, he continued.
"He told me that you're not his 'Vickie'."
Okay that's it. He had administrated the over dose. I try to remain nonchalant.
"Is he coming to the party tonight?"
"Yes, and he's bringing his new girlfriend."
"His new'�WHAT? Okay, that's it; I'm not going to the party tonight!"
"You have to go, it's your birthday."
"I wouldn't care if it was my first friggin' Communion. I still wouldn't go."
"You're not Catholic, you wouldn't have a '�"
"Shut the fuck up, Jonathan!"
"It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to!" he sang in falsetto."
"What part of shut the fuck up don't you understand?"
I slammed the bedroom door.
A few tearful hours later, I decided that I'd better get dressed. Frantically, I threw different outfits across the bed, trying to decide what to wear. Jonathan opened the door and comes into the bedroom. He looked at the outfits on the bed. Silently, he went to the closet, and took out some low cut black number.
"Isn't that a bit over the top?" I asked.
"As I recall, your top, so to speak, is over that outfit.
"Then why do you want me to wear it?"
"Because it will make you feel better about yourself, and I can't stand to see you so hurt."
"I don't deserve you."
"Yeah, I know. Now go make yourself even more beautiful than you are."
Am I beautiful? Most people describe me as "interesting looking." I'm not sure if that's a compliment. I have very long blonde hair, and very big boobs. To some guys, that translates as beautiful. David thought I was beautiful.
David. It had been two months since I've seen him. After that incident at the concert, I was surprised he wanted to see me at all. Why did Jonathan have to invite him to my party? Why did he agree to come? Just so he can flaunt his new girlfriend in my face?
Jonathan came back into the room.
"There's something else I didn't tell you."
"What now?" I asked.
"I told him that I understood why he was attracted to you."
These male bonding sessions were getting to be a bit much.
"To which he replied?" I asked, expecting the worst.
Jonathan's moment of silence gave the phrase "pregnant pause" a whole new meaning.
"He said, yeah she's a real force of nature."
Force of nature? Force of nature! Oh my god! Look out, Mama's gonna' cause an avalanche!
I choose the black outfit. Black velvet pants, and a tight, low cut black lace blouse, made even more erotic by cleavage makeup, and of course, a push up bra. All I need now is a scarlet letter'�
Force of nature, indeed.
At 7:30, the doorbell rang. The most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life walked into my condo. She had shiny jet-black hair, neatly tied up in a ponytail, big dark eyes, thin thighs and big boobs, almost too big for someone whose thighs are so slim. Holy Shit! She's Brunette Barbie! Jonathan can't keep his eyes off her. She can't keep her hands off Jonathan.
Bitch.
Here comes David. How dare he bring this beauty queen to my party? How dare he even be here, especially after the way he treated me the last time I saw him? I hope she doesn't trip over the carpet in his car with those 12-inch open back heels. I remember the way he screamed at me for doing the same, and I was in 2- inch heels.
That was in the summer. It's October 23rd, and there's snow in Colorado. But it's okay for her to wear 12-inch heels.
Whatever.
"You don't wear heels in Colorado!" he said. Of course, he was angry with me for tripping when I got out of his car. Somehow I messed up his door when it happened. He cared more about his damn car than my twisted ankle. Advice to any of you ladies who find yourselves involved with David La Vecchia: Don't mess with his car!
I forgot all about that as soon as he kissed me, and stroked my arm. Resistance was once again, futile. He handed me a package and said 'Happy Birthday!'�
'What's this?'�
'Why don't you open it?'�
I found a small notebook inside, with an Alfonso Mucha picture on the cover. David has a similar poster in his condo. I found it odd that a guy would have a Mucha poster, but, hey, he's complex. He knew how much I loved that picture.
'When ski season starts, this will be your training diary,'� he explained. 'I'll be giving you ideas and images to think about. During lunch, I want you to write them down. You should carry this with you all the time. That way, if you're not in a lesson, you can refer to this on the lifts.'�
Sounds a bit anal. But I simply smiled. I opened the notebook, and saw that he had written something on the first page:
Don't make it happen, let it happen!
Hmmm.
I guess he had decided that he would be teaching me. 'Thank-you. That's very sweet.'�
As I offered him something to drink, I could not fight the temptation to stroke his hair and caress his face. He allowed this for a few moments. Then he took my hand and nibbled at my fingers. It's a game we'd played with each other before.
Once again I was thrilled at the prospect of doing something to satisfy his thirst, to satisfy his hunger.
I want to be the one who fulfills his every need, to be his ultimate source of pleasure, whether his appetite is for food, intellectual stimulation or sex.
I want to get a hold of myself before I lose myself.
Brunette Barbie finally realized that in polite society, one introduces oneself to the hostess of the party. She sat down next to me.
'�Hi, I'm Sherri.'�
'Nice to meet you," I lied
"I just want you to know, I think you've done an incredible thing by moving out here. It must be wonderful to have your own clinic and fitness studio. I taught aerobics for 10 years, and I think it's so great that you can make a living at it," she chirped.

Wow! She's a fellow former aerobic bimbo.

"Do you still teach?'� I asked.

"Just occasionally, when someone needs a sub," she answered.

I'm not sure what prompted me to say what I said next. Perhaps Monica from Touched By an Angel came down and whispered in my ear, 'God loves you Mariel, and he wants you to be kind to your almost lover's girlfriend.'� Or maybe not.

"Well, in March, David and I are going out to a ski camp in Lake Tahoe. I'll need someone to take over the studio for a week." Note the little dig about 'David and I.'� So much for the angel intervention.

"Wow, I'd love to! But I'm probably not as good as you."

'Don't be silly.'� I changed the subject. 'So, how did you and David meet?'� I asked.

'At the Breckenridge Recreation center'�, she answered.
"Well don't let him get sloppy with his form."
"Tell me about it!'� We started an animated conversation about David's bad habits in the equipment room. David's eyes were still glued to the game.
"David. Mariel and I are going to gang up on you," she teased.
"Sounds like fun,'� he replied with a mischievous gleam in his eye. Then, he turned his attention back to the game.
'So what sort of work do you do?'� I asked Sherri.
'I'm an orthopedic surgeon,'� she answered.
I tried to hide my shock. She looked like an ER version of a doctor.
'Will you be setting up a practice in Summit County?'�
'Hopefully in the near future. I'll be purchasing office space in the new hospital in Frisco, if it ever gets built. Last I heard, the opening date was being pushed back to June 2006. Looks like I'm going to have some free time on my hands. Anyway, when my office finally opens, I'll gladly send you some referrals.'�
'Thanks.'�
It killed me to admit this, but I liked her. She was too much like me not to like her. It's scary. We look different, but the inflections in our voices, our laughter, our language is similar. It's weird that David did not seem to be giving her much energy. He touched her hair as if it's what he's supposed to do, not like he meant it. I know how he touches a woman's hair'�.
My friend Deanna did something odd before she left. She came up to me and said "I can't believe he had the nerve to bring her to your party!"
"Why should that bother me?" I ask, trying to play innocent.
"Not you, Sherri."
"I don't understand."
"Yes you do. He's still into you, and he's so not into her."
I've drunk too much wine. Bad idea when I'm in an emotionally volatile state. The tears began to fall.
"Don't cry. It's all gonna' work out. "
Damnit, I wish people would stop saying that!
That night, the joy of the County's former New Englanders, especially David, The Boston Red Sox would win their first World Series in 86 years. Sherri would have a good time that evening.
When they left, Jonathan turned to me and said, 'You realize that boobs are false.'�
'You think?'
'Of course. The slim hips with the big and the big stand still boobs give it away.'�
'Must you rub it in?'� I asked.
Then, as we do for everyone we know, we googled her. Our laughter stopped when we found the article.
Orthopedic surgeon Sherri Rodgers speaks out for patient's right, after her battle with breast cancer. Suddenly, for the first time in my life, I felt guilty about my cattiness.
The next morning, my cell phone rang.
Caller ID informed me that was David La Vecchia.
What the hell does he want?
Reluctantly, I picked up the phone. My voice was as shaky as a novice on skis.
Breathe, Mariel! Find your center.
"T'Sup, Dave?"
I didn't dare call him David.
"I told him what he needed to hear."
"Did you?" I was having trouble hiding the bitterness in my voice.
"Look Mariel. It was obvious how I felt about you. But your husband's a great guy and I want to see you guys get your marriage back together. If he knew how I feel, uh, I mean felt about you; he'd never trust us around each other."
I caught his slip of the tongue. My misery turned to ecstasy. They have drugs for this kind of condition.
But I was not sure if he was bullshitting me.
'David, what happened that time at the concert in Breck?'�
Uh, oh. He's David again.
The silence on his end of the line lasted too long. Is he on his cell? Did we lose the connection?
"I just felt so damn guilty, Mariel."
His voice was quivering. That usually meant he was telling the truth'�or maybe not. He is a pretty good actor.
"Why?' I whispered, not really wanting to know the answer.
"Everything about us was so right. I loved being with you...I miss being with you."
Be still my heart.
"You gave me a taste of what I needed, what I really wanted. But you were just an appetizer. I have spent the last few years out here snacking. Now I want the main course."
Sigh. He was right, of course. I never had any intention of leaving Jonathan for him. Still, I wished that he had fallen so helplessly in love with me that he was incapable of 'doing the right thing." I wished I could be his maincourse, even if I wasn't on his menu.
I held back my tears.
"Sherri seems really special." Now why the hell did I say that? Your girl is lovely, Hubble.
'Funny you should say that,'� he said. 'When we got into the car, she looked at me and said, 'Do you know what Mariel's like? I'm the same way.'�

Go figure

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