writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
citydweller
j. steinhoff
United States, NY, Brooklyn

Words: 100
Access: Public
Comments: 12

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




May Day (Karen's wee challenge #8)

The sun was relentless, but the air was unusually cool.

The campus, so colorful and vibrant in autumn, seemed to move in slow motion, as if everything was turning to ice.

Dan had left Thursday without saying goodbye, and her roommates were loading their belongings into tired-looking vans, dreaming of their futures as teachers, nuns, drug-pushers.

The mascot did flips as the band went past, playing the school song.

Crowds of middle-aged mothers stood by the bathroom stalls, handing tissues to their daughters, who fussed in front of the mirror.

She would never have to see any of them again.

Want to comment on this Flash Fiction?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Flash Fiction and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
easywriter58 Comment by: easywriter58 - 2007-11-13 19:52
Add to Readers
      
Some people are really glad school is out. I was. Nice recollection of the past.
denisedee Comment by: denisedee - 2007-08-27 05:24
Add to Readers
      
Really captures how there are no 'endings' and 'beginnings- it's just a matter of where you put the frame. Okay, this is the second time I've thought 'film'. Do you have a filmmaking background?
artkincell Comment by: artkincell - 2007-08-21 14:20
Add to Readers
      
Great metaphor:
"The sun was relentless, but the air was unusually cool."

This has an edge to it and I like that... And.. who would be the most successful drug pusher?

I loved this.. I'm off to read more of your works..
Chesterjeeb Comment by: Chesterjeeb - 2007-08-19 02:59
Add to Readers
      
There's a maturity and a confidence to this piece that is very impressive. I echo the sentiments of everyone else - very, very good indeed.
Ash19640 Comment by: Ash19640 - 2007-08-17 15:14
Add to Readers
      
Coolness was definitely in the air and is sustained right til the last line. You've delineated quiet detachment with such finesse in this story. Really liked the sense of closure you capture so economically here: 'everything was turning to ice.' Even the narrator! Excellent. Ash.
1 2 3 Next

Sponsored Ads


By citydweller

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S