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betterthandrugs
Jennifer Peng
United States, Virginia, Richmond

Words: 173
Access: Public
Comments: 2

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thunderstorm

all i need is to dance in the rain
of an intense thunderstorm
and feel the icy cold droplets
trailing down my face;
off my arms and naked skin
feel the rain drenching me-
pjs clinging, hair curling into
it's typical wet form,
just waiting-
waiting
for the rain to numb me;
and feel my anger slowly slip
like morning frost on chartreuse grass
to raindrops on damp humid skin;
waiting to lapse into withdrawal-
to escape native emotions
of rage and heartbreak
they would never understand;
they would never understand
hide the pain; hide them well:
just a flash-
quick as lightening
then
let it disappear;
quiet.
don't make a sound
never reveal the weakness;
the vulnerability
and just dance-
dance in the rain
and wait
wait for everything to slip away
within translucent raindrops
let its gentle caresses
mark its own path before
dropping and shattering
upon warm pavement
leave me;
just leave me
in my bittersweet euphoria
until the storm stops and
i lose myself within me
again

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Comments  
Miyazaki K Comment by: Miyazaki K - 2008-03-18 19:44
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Very good. This is a very well-done poem.
theorionfive Comment by: theorionfive - 2007-11-16 22:39
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I really felt like this was my type of poem, because I am currently studying (guess what?) meteorology for a profession, so the thunderstorm title originally attracted me to your poem. I really liked the single word line usage because it gave the sense of a whisper, like a sort of "shhh! be quiet and wait...wait...there it goes" kind of thing, like a moment of hesitation. It is a good read and all you have here, and I really don't think you could have described anything better - the comparison of rejected love and good riddance of it to a thunderstorm seems like a kind of ambitious way to look at it (considering I know thunderstorms are far from sapping of energy - ask me how many tornadoes I've seen!) but I think you did the best thing and made only token connections to it.
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By betterthandrugs

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