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| Wow Thank you guys. This comes from me returning to Chi-town ten yrs later and I was so upset at at badly the city has gotten. Dont get me wrong there are still plenty of beauty here, but always with an underlining stench of lost. |
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| I like the blunt honesty (what some might call brutality) in your work. I love the way the poem opens and closes with the same line. |
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Comment by: mafsa - 2007-08-22 03:38
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short but alive!
Once you smelled sweet with life
-i like how you started and finished the poem with this one!
Now you smell rancid with expiry
-sharp blow,
thanks for sharing! |
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| Good yin/yang of a relationship gone bad. Like the bookends;) |
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| so vivid and true to life, many places suffer the same way. I like how you tied everything together with the repetition of "Once you smelled sweet with life"- was a good choice to do so. Thanks for sharing and thank you for reading and commenting on my poem "A Letter to my Husband" . |
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