writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
RJWilliams
RJ Williams
United States, CA, Covina

Words: 92
Access: Public
Comments: 11

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  

A boy in love-100 syllable challenge

No.
No, no!
She yelled.*weep*
As he took flight
With her pen and pad
What will she do now? The
Class had just started. No time.
She sat next to a boy with blond
Hair, he had a box of pens- black ink.
He saw her look, he up and left. What now?
She scratched her ears, and went for air
When she came back, right on the desk;
her pen and pad where both there.
But who? But when? But how?
She took a look, and on
The flap, he wrote
Karla is sweet.

NO,Yes.

NO!




Want to comment on this Short Stories?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Short Stories and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up



[Back to top]
Comments  
sudipal Comment by: sudipal - 2007-11-23 11:53
Add to Readers
      
Very cute. Don't know the whole criteria for the challenge, but I liked what you wrote.
Matthew Eduard Abuelo Comment by: Matthew Eduard Abuelo - 2007-11-08 07:41
Add to Readers
      
Interesting piece.
Arley Comment by: Arley - 2007-08-22 04:19
Add to Readers
      
I must have got here after the edit, RJ, because you DID start and end with the same word (referring to Teri's comment). Didn't play, but took a peek at yours, and must say VERY CLEVER!
GLWard Comment by: GLWard - 2007-08-21 23:17
Add to Readers
      
Very nicely done. Yeah, this brings back memories, of a sort. Thanks for sharing it. Hope you feel better soon.
Informal Grae Comment by: Informal Grae - 2007-08-21 22:56
Add to Readers
      
I think it's all coming together now, RJ. Sorry to be a stickler for the structure, but any no set content, theme, style, lack of keywords must make for some varied stories, and has. I like this school-based tale. It's light and airy and a foray into the note-passing, message-leaving times I remember (just) of our youth.
You could have used 'Yes?' as your first and last words and it would still have worked with the yes / no hopeful unbelievability of the situation.
Favourite line: 'She scratched her ears, and went for air' love it.

Thanks for taking the challenge and creating this for us - I hope you are feeling normal anytime soon (or as normal as us writers get) - take care - Grae.
1 2 3 Next

Sponsored Ads


By RJWilliams

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S