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Amuse-Bouche
She offers expanses
of tender flesh, washed
and sparkling with salt.
He pauses, straight teeth
squared, pretty maids
all in a row.
Bared, both,
a feast commences.
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What if the feast involves ripe avocado,
soft sun-warmed tomatoes, dark chocolate-colored
olives? What if they get crumbs on there hands,
shoulders, bellies? What if they spill grape
juice and bubbling spring water on their beach
towels? Oughtn't your poem to have considered these
questions. Quite irresponsible if you ask me. |
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| it is good, a bit short |
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Must have changed the word 'lengths.'
But I like it ... it's sparing, but good this way. |
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Comment by: esknapp - 2007-08-22 13:10
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| An interesting take on both the subject and the title. Your economy of speech complements well. If there is one thing that throws me a little, it is the use of the word "lengths", it clashes ever-so-slightly wiht the topic. All-in-all, well written, I think. |
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