'Bottoms up,' he said. His voice was raspy and monotonous, getting lost in the noises of the rundown bar. It was all so typical, they were just going through the motions of another night... the clinking of glasses, the banging of fists against tables, the yelling and the shrieking laughter.

They both stood out as they sat at the counter and drank deeply from their water bottles. They simultaneously swallowed their two hits of ecstasy, different pill, same routine.

'I hear it heightens the senses, makes every sensation stronger'? should take effect in about twenty minutes I think,' Ivy said, mindlessly playing with a strand of her black hair.

'You never have good luck with dealers, I hope this is the real deal this time' mumbled Adam, taking another sip of water.

'That was just that one time,' Ivory replied, 'but this is good stuff. I heard that it makes you extremely thirsty and you have to drink a lot of water to keep from getting dehydrated and...'

As she babbled on, Adam tuned her out, instead concentrating on the sea of background noise surrounding them in the crowded bar. She had obviously done her research. It was so ironic that they both did these things to find substance, to break away from their by-the-numbers lives and yet...

She had managed to turn their substance abuse into a homework assignment.

He has managed to turn their relationship into 'business as usual.'

Look at us; what are we doing here? the highschool teacher and the business man, equally as pathetic, Adam thought.

Through the static noise, he realized that Ivy had fell silent, her babble had ceased and she was aimlessly staring at something uninteresting just over his shoulder. He always heard her talk but rarely did he listen, something he stopped feeling guilty for ages ago.

He diverted his attention again, glancing at the people around him, realizing how odd of a pair they made against such a backdrop. He looked from face to face with confusion in his heart. He used think he could read anybody just by looking at them, and now he felt as if he were from a different species.

He remembered one of the first times he met Ivy; his office building was a few blocks away from the highschool she taught at. Instead of taking the car home, he walked the extra few blocks to the metro station in his stiff suit and too-shiny shoes, in hopes of getting to talk to her.

He always liked to think that he stopped being able to read people as soon as he saw her. She was a complete mystery to him since day one, but now he realized that she was only a mystery to him because they were too much a like. In certain ways she was exactly like him, and that's what intrigued and completely confused him. Some days he didn't even recognize his reflection in the mirror. He caught her at just the right time, and they walked to the metro together.

'It's really nice of you to accompany me. Mind waiting with me a few minutes though? I'm just gonna have a smoke,' she said as they approached the entrance to the metro. She pulled out a new pack of cigarettes, and he stared. This action surprised him, very unexpected.

'Oh sorry, do you mind?' She asked.

'No, no not at all, just didn't take you as a smoker, for some reason.'

'To be honest, I'm a newbie. I just started; I wanted to try it out. I know, I know, it sounds stupid... I'm too old to be experimenting. You know, they say that if you're over the age of 17 and haven't started smoking yet, you're 60% more likely to never start later on in your life, but who wants to be just another statistic anyway?'

Adam looked at her, nodding with a slight smile. He didn't take her for much of a talker, either, she looked so withdrawn on the outside, but that's the second thing he had been wrong about. Though at the time, he didn't just hear her like he did now; he actually listened as she prattled on, talking a lot with very little to actually say.

'It's odd, usually I can read people, but you seem like a mystery to me...' He said thoughtfully when she had stopped to take a breath.

'Oh yeah? That's interesting. Well... I'm unsatisfied with my life, could you read that?' she asked, blunt and earnest. Somehow he wasn't taken aback with her odd reply.

'No... no, I couldn't, but so am I. I'm missing something vital; I just don't know what it is.'

'Me too...' she replied, trailing off.
At that moment, a tall, slender blonde girl walked by them and down into the metro.

'Did you see that girl?' Adam asked.

'Yes.'

'Well, you see, a girl like that is easy to read. A girl like that has been through a lot in her life. Her last serious relationship was an abusive one; she had to get a restraining order against the guy just so he could leave her alone. She's taking summer classes now because she failed the year, she'd spend so much time in the morning trying to cover up the bruises that she always came in late. Just couldn't concentrate on anything anymore. Now, she just continues getting used. She's just pretty girl who wants to be loved, yet every time she's with a guy she ends up putting out on the first date. She needs a father figure, more than anything, I think,' He said.

'Wow...' Ivy was silent for the first time.

'It's easy; go ahead, you try now.'

She glanced around her and noticed a somber looking maintenance worker just beyond the revolving doors of the metro entrance.

'Well, you see that man over there?' She nodded in the man's direction.
'Yeah?'

'Well, his shift starts in an hour, but he comes in early every single night. He's worked the night shift for as long as he can remember. He has no where in particular to be anyway. No close family, no wife, no kids... he's an extremely lonely man. He daydreams a lot on the job, it's no wonder he hasn't been fired yet. He people-watches and imagines himself in their shoes, trying to picture what his life would be like if things were just a little different,' She said.

'You're good at this,' he commented. They both stared at each other, silently.

Later that evening, the blonde girl met her loving boyfriend of three years for coffee and the maintenance worker's somber face immediately lit up when he received his nightly call from his wife on his cell phone.

'My heart's anywhere but here...' said Adam, rubbing his eyes, his thoughts returning to the present moment. He felt the angry tide in the stomach.

'Mmm, what are you talking about? Starting to feel funny already?' Ivy asked quizzically, not really paying attention, peeling the paper off of her water bottle.
'No, my heart is anywhere but here in the bar with you. This does nothing for me. My heart just isn't in it. Can't you feel the emptiness? Who the hell are we kidding? I'm tired. I'm tired from the past couple of weeks... hell, the past couple of years! Now it just feels like it's hitting me all at once, you know? What's wrong with us! We're not fooling ourselves; we're not even fooling each other. When's the last time that I've called you just to say 'goodnight'? When's the last time you told me that you've loved me and meant it from the bottom of you're heart? It's been a while because we don't even know where our hearts are anymore. I mean, look at us! In this silly bar, we stand out worse than a sore thumb. Trying these stupid drugs like adolescent teenagers, thinking it gives us meaning, substance, anything substantial to hold on to in our meager lives. The jokes over! We're not fooling anyone, Ivy! Ivy... I don't love you.'

She paused, startled by his sudden surge of emotion, a passion she hadn't seen since... since she couldn't even remember. Maybe never.

'What, so this is it, all that to tell me that this is the end? You're breaking up with me?' Ivy said, reacting in the only way she knew how, putting aside the water bottle and brushing away the pieces of ripped paper.

Adam ran his fingers through his hair. She was still lost somewhere, she just didn't get it. She still needed to keep pretending. He sighed.

'You haven't done any thing wrong. No really, it's all me, not you. I just can't seem to deal anymore, Ivy, I'm sorry.'

Ivy wasn't exactly sure what she was feeling or why she was so angry and frustrated. After a huff, some babbling words, and throwing the remainder of water in Adams blank face, she stormed out of the bar into the frosty winter night.

'I can't believe how naïve I was to think things could ever be so simple...' He mumbled to himself, starting to feel a bit dizzy, water dripping off his nose. He rubbed his eyes and saw nothing and everything all at once. Blurred images, shot glasses, the marble counter dripping water, a barmaid with a painted face, playing cards, soft falling snow, neon lights. Everything was blurred; there were no edges, yet somehow each image was seemingly intensified. A tornado of noises flooded his ears, the clinking of glasses and the banging of fists on the table sounded like thunder and lightning. The yelling and shrieking of laughter sounded like the hiss of rain and hail and snow. He got up off his stool and made his way to the bathroom, feeling nauseous. As the door swung open, the blinding white bathroom lights seared his eyes. The light seemed so intense, as if it were bleaching the inside of his brain. He slammed one of the stall doors open and fell to his knees in front of the toilet bowl. He noticed that the once-white porcelain was cracked and the pipes were rusted. He was in front of the holy altar, and it was beckoning to him to confess his sins.

'That god damn pill is kicking in...' he mumbled to himself out loud. His stomach felt like the inside of a washing machine. He began feeling claustrophobic in his clothes. His tightly pressed pants, his belt, his tucked-in shirt buttoned up to the throat, the pin-striped matching noose around his neck. He clawed at the tie, undoing it with clumsy fingers and finally freeing himself.

'Just a silly mindless business man... no pride, no joy, no love, all fucking business and ties.' He slurred as he dropped it into the toilet.

He gripped the sides of the bowl with clenched fingers.

'Ivy you're still playing the game...' He laughed bitterly as if she were kneeling right there next to him.

'We're both pathetic, hell, at least I can acknowledge it! Can you live with what you know about yourself when you're alone, behind closed doors? Because it's all going to catch up to you soon, real soon, and I just can't deal with the burden anymore! This lack of substance, lack of happiness, this bottomless 'lack'... I don't even know what I want or what I need. How do you distinguish the two? I am my own biggest mystery! I've never stopped being able to 'read'? people when I met you, Ivy, you've just showed me that I'd been a stranger on the outside all along. Trying to pretend that I'm 'God.' Maybe things could have been different, if we weren't such mysteries to ourselves and if we stopped denying everything. If we could have acknowledged the things that we never said, but were always right there, maybe things wouldn't feel so empty. God, please, I've never asked you for anything, just don't let me die an empty man.'

'Shut up you lunatic, I'm trying to take a piss!' sputtered an angry man from the urinal outside... a world away, it seemed.

Adam snickered, until he began laughing so hard his stomach hurt. He heard angry muttering and the bathroom door swing closed. The laughter echoed off of the tile walls, closing in on him and suddenly he was silent once more, the humor suddenly gone as fast as it had arrived.

'What's wrong with me... This shit's got me on my knees in a bathroom, praying to a God I don't even believe in. Well, dear Jesus, are you listening? If this is a test, a lesson, the one chance that really matters, well please don't let me fuck this up.'

The bathroom door swung open, and Adam heard a familiar voice.

'Adam'? Adam, are you in here?' The sound was very small, very fragile, the voice of Jesus? God? No... it was Ivy.

'Yes, Ivy, I'm in here honey...' He managed, before he threw up into the toilet bowl.

She opened the stall and stumbled to her knees next to him at the altar.

'Oh no, what's wrong with you? Feeling sick? Was it the pill? I'm sorry about before... I don't know what's wrong with us. Oh god, your tie is in the toilet bowl!'

Adam looked at her and placed a finger to her lips gently to silence her.

'Shh... no more talking, just listening. When is the last time we've both just really listened? Look, let's get out of here. Want to go on our first date?'

'Our first date?' She asked, confused.

'Yes, since we just broke up and we're both single again, I'd like to formally ask you out for coffee. Do you accept?'

Ivy giggled; a tinkling sound that Adam hadn't heard for the longest time.

'I accept, even though I think you're a little crazy. What's gotten into you?'

'An epiphany... I'll explain on the way.'

And Adam raised himself off the toilet bowl alter, and they walked hand in hand out of the bathroom, into the snowy mysterious night outside of themselves.

Want to comment on this Short Stories? Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Short Stories and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...