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Evie
Evie Delacourt
United States

Words: 119
Access: Public
Comments: 3

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Hollow Child

Pretty little plaything
Lies limp and worn,
Feeling torn.
Discarded,
Broken-hearted,
Too damaged to cry--
Wondering why?
Is anybody listening?
Who can kiss and make it better,
When a kiss becomes a fetter to the soul?

Not a person, not a name,
Pleasure stolen from her shame--
Was it worth the shattered life he left behind?
Gathering up the pieces of her heart
Like a torn and tattered robe,
Covering herself from watching eyes--
Who can see the hollow child inside?

Pretty little plaything
Lies limp and worn,
Feeling torn.
Discarded,
Broken-hearted,
Too damaged to cry--
Wondering why?

Who can see the hollow child inside?
Do You see the hollow child inside?
Can You love this hollow child inside?

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Comments  
Belle Astell Comment by: Belle Astell - 2008-02-19 08:56
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WOW! This is a tear jerking, well written poem. Thank you for sharing it.
Evie Comment by: Evie - 2007-08-25 20:57
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These are actually song lyrics, but it's kinda hard to post the tune with them here.... ;-)
Qwilla Comment by: Qwilla - 2007-08-25 20:45
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I like how you play with both free verse and rhyme here. . .it tends to emphasize the brokenness of the hollow child.

Only one suggestion: consider ending the first strophe with the word "fetter" and omitting the following three words. They seem redundant and take away from the surprise--and the rhyme--of "better" in the line above and "fetter" which is the shock. You don't normally associate "kisses" with "fetter".

And I really love the sound combination of "discarded" and "broken-hearted". The rhyme is a wee bit slanted but it sounds very nice when read aloud.

Effective poem.
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By Evie

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