 |
 |
 |
| |
Hidden
It's 3:00 a.m.
And I'm here again,
Back in the embrace
Of my favorite sin.
And I know it's all illusion,
But it's all I've ever known,
And I'm reaping the harvest
That my past sins have sown.
I can stop any time that I want to'¦
But I don't want to.
(God, help me want to!)
It's dark in here,
But it hides my shame,
Temptation with her siren's song
Keeps calling my name.
And each time she wins the struggle,
I die a little more inside.
Every time I give in, that's
One more sin I have to hide'¦
(I'm so tired of hiding!)
I can stop any time that I want to'¦
But I don't want to.
(God, help me want to!)
Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
|
 |
|
[Back to top]
|
|
 |
Comment by: Evie - 2007-09-13 20:25
|
|
| I deliberately left the nature of the sin vague, so that more people could relate to it. I'm glad that worked for you, and that you liked the poem. |
 |
Comment by: Dundano - 2007-09-13 15:09
|
|
| This is a really good poem, it could be about any kind of addiction, whether it's to a substance or a bad relationship, so many people should be able to relate to it. I always like poems when I can personalize them by applying the words to something in my life. This was a good read. |
|
Comment by: Evie - 2007-08-25 21:00
|
|
| Changed it, 'cuz you're right, it *is* stronger that way. :-) |
 |
Comment by: Qwilla - 2007-08-25 20:55
|
|
Ah, sowing and reaping! Sow good, reap good: sow bad. . . .
Love the use of "embrace" in the third line (tho I would move "of" down to the beginning of the fourth to make line three even stronger) because it poignantly shows the intimacy a person has or comes to have with their sin of choice. I like, too, the sentiments inside the parentheses because they show the fight. . .but not very much of a fight for, as the speaker says, "But I don't want to).
A poem to remember both for its technique and its sad truth. |
 |
Comment by: abnich - 2007-08-25 20:12
|
|
| It seems lacking. |
| 1 2 Next |
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
