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Comment by: Juan2 - 2007-09-03 17:35
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Strong stuff. Burns the fields but prays for rain. Sounds like a cry for help in a moment of desperation. The imagery is very, very powerful. So much so, in fact, I think you could completely omit 'in desperation' and the effect would come out just as strong. Just something you might want to play around with.
happy writings |
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Beautiful imagery. There such a sense of desolation throughout that makes the poem so tragic and vivid.
Nice work. I enjoyed reading. |
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"The girl with the smudged face
stands
in the highest limbs." - love that image!
For me it felt like someone so desperate for something to rescue her from herself. Unable to stop but wanting to damage and heal at the same time.
Brilliant! |
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| I love the imagery |
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Comment by: esknapp - 2007-08-28 07:34
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I really like the tone of this poem, and the imagery is good."Smudged face,", for example, conveys a lot of meaning and emotion in two words. The feeling is well-relatable (not a word, probably, but I hope you get my meaning). One typo - "like(s)". Nice work.
ESK |
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