Dancing is a form of humiliation invented by women to make men look like idiots. Some say it's genetic, and shows our ancestral roots, where dancing was used as a courtship ritual. I'm sorry but how can this possibly be true. If courtship depended on the ability to dance then the human race would have become extinct decades ago. What woman in her right mind would want to mate with someone who has absolutely no control over their extremities?
If dancing is a clue to how a man performs in bed, then no woman would ever lay down with one. How can someone flailing their arms around as if they are pieces of spaghetti in a wind tunnel, and having not one or two left feet but seemingly a multitude of feet all trying to go in opposite directions relate to the bedroom? Who would want the same sort of performance in bed?
The fact that some men seem to think they look like gods on the dance-floor just adds to the myth. Of course the image of the '70s 'Medallion Man' will always prevail when thinking of a man dancing; bad platform shoes, lurid coloured flares that are so tight it makes constipation a cert, shirt unbuttoned to the navel, gaudy necklaces nestling in wispy hair on the chest, bad hair do, and a bad choice of chat-up-lines. This is the era where male dancing should remain, and never rear its head.
Now don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with a lithe young woman gyrating and pulsing round a dance-floor. In fact it can truly be poetry in motion. Women have a natural rhythm that men just do not posses, and should never, ever think they do.
Slow dancing is a completely different matter. After all it is just an excuse to slide your hands over a womans body in a way that would normally get you a slapped face, and more importantly she can't actually see you moving like a club-footed hippo.
Gentlemen I implore you, leave the dance-floor to the women, and cheesy films. You will never look like John Travolta in Saturday Night fever (and that's probably a small mercy).

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