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Misfortune
Wrong was the word
I always associated with you-
but love is not just blind,
it can also be immoral.
That insufferable bitch we call Karma, though,
will have her piece of flesh,
and delights in playing in the craters
her crashes cause.
I've forgotten how many sheet-tangled nights
I cursed your name,
or how many times a smell-
a sight-
nothing at all-
would leave me frantically sweeping up the pieces
before someone could see the mess I'd made.
But right and wrong,
can be a matter of semantics-
and ill winds can still fill sails
that bring you to where you belong.
Your betrayal made me raise my voice in protest,
pushed me out into the open
and into the sight of those that knew who I was
even before I did-
and maybe it's time that I thank you,
for being my luckiest misfortune.
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Thank you so much, Cheryl! You know how nice it is to hear you've gotten through to someone... I'm so glad you liked it. :)
Hugs,
Jen |
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That was a great eye, Al. Most of my "early" poetry - and that's mostly what's here - does have a lot to do with my nickname. :) I agree, it does read well on paper, but I can't seem to get the feel of it aloud, and I'd really like to make an audio version of this (it's kind of a hobby of mine - I have quite a few recordings stashed away on the 'net). Rearranging a bit may help! Thank you so much for your help on this...
Jen |
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Comment by: alien Online- 2007-09-25 15:22
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"ill winds can still fill sails
that bring you to where you belong."
fantastic lines.
You've got a great poem there. I really empathised with it - you've got such a great way of expressing which appeals straight to me.
Lovely. |
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Comment by: - 2007-09-25 13:28
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| And hence your nickname! It's possible that a little pruning and rearranging might bring more rhythm, but it reads really well as is. Good imagery and phrases, with Karma playing in the craters and sheet-tangled nights and winds that still fill sails make this a very satisfying read. Good work. |
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| Thank you so much, Arley! I still find this one a little rough... I feel like someone needs to grab the steel wool and some Comet, do a little scrubbing. =D But occasionally, even in a rough piece, you get handed a piece of truth too shiny to pass up... and that what that line was. Glad you liked it... |
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