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markbrown
mark brown
United Kingdom, London

Words: 203
Access: Public
Comments: 4

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Mind Your Own Business

At his desk in the art department, Isaac looks at photographs on his screen of uncomfortable women posing fashionably in deserted warehouses and empty recreation grounds.

This shoot is a mess, he thinks, snorting.

Concentrating, he pares away the imperfect, shaping legs into curving scimitars, skin into polished mahogany and china, remaking faces, shaping bosoms and jaws.

As a child, looking over his mother's shoulder into the dressing table mirror as she applied makeup, he tried to tell her that she looked better without it. Irritated, she told him to mind his own business.

Last night, Carla tried to tell Isaac how unhappy she was.

When they first met at university, she'd been tall and flat like a teenaged boy. Now she is fuller, heavy and soft like overripe fruit.

'You'd be happier if you were thinner,' he said, knowing he was wrong as soon as he said it.

Despite his embarrassment, she agreed.

Cuddling after they made love, her skin rose between his fingers.

Ignoring the perfected women on his screen, Isaac thinks about the pictures he edited and retouched of Carla; thinning, smoothing, heightening.

Isaac flushes hot with guilt at how powerful and aroused they make him feel.

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Comments  
DawnWilson Comment by: DawnWilson - 2007-10-09 05:40
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This was very different and original. I was able to visualize, and that's something that's important to me as a reader. I almost felt as though I was "seeing" something that I shouldn't...like I was invading someone's privacy. Good writing.
citydweller Comment by: citydweller - 2007-09-04 07:46
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Mark,

I like the premise of this story, as well as the phrase "her skin rose between his fingers." I'd like to know more about this guilt Isaac feels; this seems to be the heart of the story.

Looking forward to reading more of your work.

~J.
Louise Comment by: Louise - 2007-09-01 04:20
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I loved this, so simple but at the same time incredibly powerful - especially with such an original idea. I especially loved the description of Carla's body being like "overipe fruit." Really enjoyed reading this - thank you :)
Teri Comment by: Teri - 2007-08-31 19:17
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Hi, Mark,

I always wondered about those people in charge of airbrushing models into something else. How they looked at the people around them, especially lovers and spouses.

I love how your mind works and how you wrote this story. And the use of the word 'powerful' at the end combined with Isaac's guilt was great.

The only things I'd suggest would maybe to add a little something about what Carla said about what was making her unhappy. Other than that, I can't think of a thing to suggest.

Thanks for sharing the story.

Teri xo
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By markbrown

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