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yican
Dewi Putri Kirana
Indonesia, DKI Jakarta, Jakarta

Words: 130
Access: Public
Comments: 7

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Reflections (karjon's challenge)

Her shadow glided upon the walls, cracked a bit when passing hollow shelves and old paintings. A mirror reflected her for a short sigh; then she disappeared from the surface. A door creaked open and her body slipped in and out of the framed smiles and waves, still visible beyond layers of dust. Her face hovered on one of them; the only picture where she was not alone. A single tear blurred the figure away and she was gone.

The image of her gazed back from the metal; sad but cold and determined. For a brief moment it revealed a white wrist with purple vein. Then she stared into her own face on the pooling red, conscious of the fact that her own reflection was all she would see now.

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Comments  
waxseal Comment by: waxseal Online- 2008-04-23 21:41
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Hello! Haven't popped by in awhile and I'm sorry - I have missed some great stuff! I liked this quite a bit - the descriptions were really beautiful but still real, and the overall story was very sad. Well done.
GraceyLou Comment by: GraceyLou - 2008-03-30 21:54
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this is very interesting. it is quite descriptive and also leaves quite a bit to the imagination too. as i said very interesting.
jenne Comment by: jenne - 2007-12-16 20:48
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and her body slin in and out of the framed smiles and waves.
thats awesome. very deatailed, very well written. :]
citydweller Comment by: citydweller - 2007-09-29 15:10
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Hi Dewi,

I really like the image of a shadow cracking. I wouldn't have thought of that. The voice and the rhythm of this piece are very nice as well.

Hope to read more of your work soon.

Best,
J.
TJ Comment by: TJ - 2007-09-04 22:40
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I Really like this poem...It's not your average dream poem where lovers are reunited and miracles happen...It's just the truth
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