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GeorgeFellini
George Fellini
United States, Idaho, Boise

Words: 340
Access: Public
Comments: 12

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Road Crossing - 34th Parallel Challenge

I was crossing 34th when it hit me - a seven-ton truck, that is. Well it killed me instantly, none of your "quick, call an ambulance!" business, more of a "has anybody got a shovel handy?" situation.

Everybody gathered round to see the colourful patterns I'd made, but crimson red turning muddy brown amid the gobbets and globules of goo didn't really make an oil painting. It was a bit depressing, apart from the pink silk colour from my scarf, that I had recently been given as a "Good Luck" gift - that helped to brighten it up.

My shoes had ended up rather neatly together in the gutter, both pointing in the same direction and with uppers up. My feet weren't in them anymore, they were still attached to my legs, which weren't so neatly positioned. Neither were my arms. The one still attached to the body was twisted at rather a novel angle, whilst the one that had been ripped off had ended up on the central reservation, hand in the air, the wrist holding aloft my watch, seemingly unharmed, and still ticking away the seconds quite contentedly to itself.

Now where has my head got to. Ah, there it is underneath the lorry, and oozing some pretty yucky grey stuff, for that matter. How gross.

I can hear sirens in the distance, though I don't know what the rush is for. They've probably got the 'blues and twos' on through force of habit.

The crowd already seems to be thinning out. Excitement over, let's get back to the shopping mall. Perhaps they found it all a bit disappointing, what with no gallant, last-ditch, life-saving, but-sadly-in-vain efforts on behalf of the medics to save a, relatively intact, accident victim. I think the gore put them off. Apart from that chap who has just picked up my purse, he seems quite cheerful.

Oh, well, I suppose I'd better be off. Things to do, you know.

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Comments  
jasonward Comment by: jasonward - 2008-03-30 14:19
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The pink scarf was a good enough clue for anyone paying attention. I like the indifference to the situation. On to the shopping mall in the sky.
Rosie Sandler Comment by: Rosie Sandler - 2008-03-09 15:50
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I see I did comment on this one, at least, at the time! Even with that tense change, a fresh read suggests the tenses are still a bit conflicting - once again, we're at 'hads' which change to the present later on.

I think this one only needs a bit (and I mean a bit) of tightening up to be a really quirky, funny, sick story, Grae. I love the detail of the thief. And the fact that the dead person doesn't seem to mind being dead. Lovely light touch, as ever, Grae.

Take out the 34th Parallel reference, give it a quick edit and send it somewhere else (I'll read it again, if you'll let me).
Comment by: - 2007-09-09 06:56
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George, I thought men in Boise referred to their wallets as "purses," so I wasn't dialed into the fact that the victim was a woman. Now I see a new underlying theme here. George gets his revenge (maybe)?
Ash19640 Comment by: Ash19640 - 2007-09-06 12:35
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GEORGE LIVES! (I've got the T-shirt!) This one seems to be about your soul-mate-- what a way to get ahead. (The gore was good clean fun by the way). Thanks for the laughs. Ash :D
GeorgeFellini Comment by: GeorgeFellini - 2007-09-05 11:25
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Thanks, Arley, for your comments, has anybody picked up that it's a woman that's been run down? Couple of clues in there - George.
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