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who knows what one is thinking
as clothing is dropped on thick, tight
carpet
feeling around in the dark
lookin' for love
two decidedly single harborers of social angst
torn between what is right
and was just feels good
"just do it" so the slogan goes
so she wraps her nasty tu-tu
around his sweat covered dome
shifting, twisting, poking around
waiting to be taken to task
riding like a stallion on some forgotten
old man style canvas
covered with dust
'till the beast shows its reflection
in the hearts that remember intent
it's just sex - rolling around in one's mind
in and out
up and down
i love you's being thrown around
pony - up and ride me like the stallion i am
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The focus on the carpet in the first stanza is interesting. It really makes it less of a human act, because the carpet is the focus. It works for this poem's subject. Also falling in with the rest of the poem's attitude.
The only part I really had a bit of a problem with is the second to last stanza. For some reason, it seems out of place. I think the main problem is the last line. It seems to interrupt the tone of the rest of it, but I found it to be pretty well flowing otherwise.
Great write overall...there are far too few poems with sex in them that are also good.
