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Fading - 34thParallel Entry
The glassy roads ran criss-cross and parallel. A thousand layers deep, each pushed on. Fading into obscurity. Into the Infinite Light. It's that way with everything. Roads and people and your deepest darkest thoughts. Eventually, everything returns to the Light. So they say. So I hope.
I have walked a million roads, without exaggeration. All looking for you. For a lingering trace of you. I was crossing 34th when I thought I found a glimmer of yours. It's an old highway. Older than most. Older than ours used to be. The souls there do not rush and bounce with life. They dredge forward, passing each day with little hope and much despair. An old and dour road indeed. Why were you there? What darkness of heart drew you down to that level?
Perhaps the why is not yours. Perhaps it is mine. Why am I here and not there? Sludging my way through 34th. Why did I travel only one road, while others speed down countless highways? Fading into the light, only to return on a different path. Not yet ready to assimilate. Not ready to dwell in the presence of the Absolute.
I cannot say I don't understand. It is heady there. Chilling and heated and overwhelming in spirit. The greatness, the purity. It's blinding. Fortifying. Completely terrifying. And once beheld, it is to the soul as air is to the body. Necessary, enriching and damning.
I walked away and now I am suffocating from the lack of it. I don't mind. It does not hurt. It is worth it. Worth the loss, if that is what it comes to. Eventually, everything returns to the Light. So they say. But they say more than that. Sometimes. Not often, but sometimes souls get lost. Sometimes they take the wrong road and never return.
How could I wait? How could I linger in the beyond, knowing that you may never return to me? So I will linger without. Away from Light. Watching. Waiting. Fading. For you.
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Comment by: Arley - 2007-09-09 07:11
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| Nice esoteric piece, Anna. Verges on the edge of despair but doesn't fall over it. Good job! |
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| wow this is very good amazing filled with mistery i like it i like it alot keep up the good work :D |
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Comment by: L J - 2007-09-08 11:33
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Prose almost perfect. Single word clauses mean a lot. i don't have a hassle with uniwords. The questions regarding loss and pain and searching occur to all of us at some stage in our lives. I have hope that the narrator of the story will not linger in darkness and indeed cross into the light. Light enables, to some darkness enables, but that is beside the point. Poetic. Soft and harsh. I will need to read the piece again to get the full potential. A couple of grammatical slides, but that's poetic prose, i guess.
The following lines gripped me:
Eventually, everything returns to the Light. So they say. But they say more than that. Sometimes. Not often, but sometimes souls get lost. Sometimes they take the wrong road and never return.
Thanks for this reminder. |
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