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actionman
Dan Sheridan
United Kingdom, Surrey, Guildford

My Bookshop
Words: 91
Access: Public
Comments: 3

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Dating On Ice.

Dating On Ice.

Oh for it is to be my dream,
To be like you, the ice queen.
Skating around with such elegant grace
A radiant beauty always with a lovely smile on your face.

Happy that I managed to just about stay on my feet,
Unlike you the ice queen... dancing on ice to the musical beat.

My comedy falls, my singing dada da
Even that iconic banana,
So were you impressed at all by my blades of glory?
In a bizzare end to this perfect dating on ice story!

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My Bookshop

Comments  
Susan Cook-Jahme Comment by: Susan Cook-Jahme - 2007-11-17 05:39
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Hi Dan,
Never mind...perhaps the challenge of ice-skating didn't help you with your rhyming :0) I think this was OK...but next time take your date rock climbing and see if she is able to dance a treat to the musical beat!
Best,
Susan
actionman Comment by: actionman - 2007-09-10 15:31
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Thanks for your comments - I've switched the lines around... to keep the rhyming going... :)
Comment by: - 2007-09-10 15:21
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I didn't really like this one... I mean I'm not going to lie, I don't really like rhymes period. But that's not what turned me off.

It's the fact that it has no ended. The last stanza was pretty awful... You didn't really get any rhymes 'n it really made no sense at that point. Plus you tried to rhyme the first line with the last, whereas you rhymed line for line in the first two stanza's.

I didn't like it...
1
Bookshop

"Love Life, Lust Life"

by Dan Sheridan



Love Life, Lust Life
Romantic Poetry
ISBN: 1413748554

Inspiration for the book came in many forms, starting out with the trials and tribulations of young adulthood to those of love and romance.

Love Life, Lust Life

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By actionman

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