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DOOM
Most of us think of doom as some catastophe
A tragic event full of calamity
Oh yes, it certainly can be
But it can also be something we can't readily see
In small, tiny ways it creeps in
Cutting us down, wearing our souls thin
Taking away things that we'll never have again
Taking us to places we would never chose to have been
Step by step we decend into the deep, dark doom
Pain, chaos, run rampant in this room
Try as we might, there's not escaping the gloom
It's easier to give in, to give in to the doom
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Comment by: robind - 2007-09-15 09:40
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| I'd like to thank you all for your comments. I am not a poet by nature, but have been wanting to improve in that area, so your feedback means a lot to me and I will reciprocate. |
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| The flow of this poem makes the ending seem inevitable. Well done. --Robert Barlow |
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I like the happy bounciness of the rhythm paired with the despair in it's meaning.
The contrast is quixotic. |
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Comment by: brad19 - 2007-09-10 21:39
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This was a nice and subtle poem with a great deep message. I loved it. I loved the first two stanzas in particular while the third troubled me a little bit. Mainly because of the repitition of 'doom, room, gloom, doom'.
Overall, I think it was a fantastic piece. Congrats. |
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