Not quite broken not quite whole
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Poetry >> Not quite broken not quite whole
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Not quite broken not quite whole
"I have never known her to be so careless" he said
She must have stumbled somewhere.
"Someone must have broken her"
The difference is I am free
A bit careless sure
A bit impulsive but of course
And I don't want any one to pin me down
Not any more
I am through with the chains
Through with my hearts pains
They sit and wonder what has happened to me
I reply "I am just the same"
My heart has just been replaced
But if you look deep enough it's still there
waiting for someone to revive it
So take my surface for what is
live the days as they come
Drink with me
Sing
Laugh
and Glance
but promise not to creep under my skin.
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Comment by: jonny Online- 2008-11-18 14:24
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| Nice way to tell people you're gonna do ypur deal and they're welcome to come along, just mind your place. Either that or I totally interpretted this wrong. |
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I love it, it is perfect for where I am right now,
I really like "A bit impulsive but of course", it works. I hear that line said in a very Freddie Mercury, Diva kind of way.
I really like the middle with the very delibarate rhyme of "chains" and "pains"....really stands out and is powerful.
New to this and your the first I have commented on, if you get a chance I would love you to look at some of my stuff and let your feelings be known.
I think we may have kinda similar styles, kinda ! ! |
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Comment by: - 2007-09-12 08:47
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| I do find the line "A bit impulsive but of course" to be a bit awkward, but otherwise, this is a very good read. |
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