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timeakinga
Timea Kinga Szűcs
Romania, Timisoara

Words: 174
Access: Public
Comments: 2

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Tonight

I can't move, I'm just too cold
the music shouts in my stereo
my head explodes, it pained all day
can I find comfort in a rock and roll song?

The phones near me, perhaps I should call him
but I can't talk, I have nothing to say
there's a mess in my head, a mess all around me
old paper clips waiting to be thrown away

I sit next to bottles of mineral water,
one half empty, one half full; I'm thirsty
but I forget that I'm just too lazy to move
too lazy to make my bed and get finally warm

Songs I sung, things I wrote, verses going on
in my mind while the room spins with me in it
and my dress hanging out from this ancient black closet
I reach to the switcher to turn off the light

With my eyes closed and head laid down,
The chill is running down my spine,
time's to decide, it's five past midnight
So I'm getting up and shutting down the registry

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Comments  
timeakinga Comment by: timeakinga - 2007-09-28 23:26
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Hi John!
Thanks for your comment. It wasn't originally meant to be a song, but you just gave me an idea! Thanks again :-)
Timea
Kerosene Comment by: Kerosene - 2007-09-21 10:32
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Im assuming this is song lyrics, and so I will critique according to that.

I think it all flows well, except this line:

old paper clippings waiting to be thrown in a bin

But not hearing it in the context of a song, it's hard to judge but just reading it, it's a bit harsh compared to the rest.

my thoughts.

john
1

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By timeakinga

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