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shadowboy
Harry Mora
United States, NJ, East Newark

Words: 124
Access: Public
Comments: 2

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What If I Should Close My Eyes

What if I should close my eyes and never wake?
This world, which has become sickening to me
Just as I sicken it in turn,
Would this world wish to wake me?
Would you miss the time with me?

What if I should tire from endlessly rebuilding
These bridges that wish to burn
My hands worn bloody from this fruitless endeavor
My heart grown weary and cold
From always seeking some forever

What if I should grow cold in this sleep
Would you join me in turn?
Would you wish to warm me?
Or simply watch me burn?

Cover my eyes with silver
As this world remakes me in ice
What if I should close my eyes and never wake
..........wouldn't that be nice?

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Comments  
Thunderpen Comment by: Thunderpen - 2007-10-09 02:50
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Well written. There are sections where the rhyme occurs naturally, subtly, and catches on the inner ear while not intruding a bit into the forefront.

Where do you find hope? What gives you the strength to continue? And please DO continue.
dragonhunter55 Comment by: dragonhunter55 - 2007-09-18 11:48
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Your pain is showing. I enjoyed this--especially the last stanza. My only suggestion might be a word change in the fifth line. You could change it to:

'Would you miss your time with me?' rather than 'the time.'

Otherwise a sad and painful read--which is good. Thanks.

Terry
1

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By shadowboy

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