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The endless Dream
I do not understand.
So I'll keep scratching
Until my fingers bleed.
Expose the surface but
Never the core.
I'll dig until my tears soften
The earth and
I can bury myself alive in it.
Let me sleep. Let me wonder.
Let me dream.
- Peter Hattingh
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this was haunting and creepy to me but in a good way. It was like this person had a lot a pain buried inside and didn't know what to do with it. Keep up with your amazing creativity!
~Becca |
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| hey bro, this poem seems nicely crafted. it really makes the reader think and go beyond the words...and explor himself/herself. |
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| Oh, and I really liked "expose the surface but never the core". Forgot to mention that. |
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"The endless Dream" - the capitalization of this poem was kind of funky -- don't know if you did that on purpose. I liked the beginning of the poem; I feel that you're really going to take an interesting turn with this. Lots of images flashed through my mind. But then these three sentences came:
"Let me sleep. Let me wonder.
Let me dream."
In my opinion, those three sentences are pretty much overused (I actually used two of them in the same poem once, and deleted it from complaints by other authors. Just goes to show)
If you rewrite the three sentences, or twist the poem in a different direction towards the end, I think that would make it much better. |
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Comment by: zepol - 2007-10-08 04:29
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| Yes, I agree. This poem does encompass several meanings. The stanzas feel equidistant, which strengthens the meaning, multiple interpretations, and fluidity of this piece. This is difficult to accomplish but I believe natural for you. I love this poem. |
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