 |
 |
 |
| |
Voice Like Stars
Falling asleep with your hand in mine -
Waking up in the middle of the night with your voice washing over me like stars,
Raining from heaven on my heart -
Telling me you love me -
Watching your face as you sleep like an angel - peaceful -
This is how I want to grow up - grow wise - grow old -
Together -
You have my heart -
I can't imagine it any other way...
Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
|
 |
|
[Back to top]
|
|
 |
Comment by: Valerie - 2008-09-14 15:15
|
|
| This is beautiful, and my first thoughts after reading, was that the format should be changed. Then, upon scrolling down, I see that this has already been done by urbanhermit, and I was disappointed that it couldn't be done by me. She is right. This is exactly how I would have done it. There is only one other thing here that I would change, and that is not to capitalize the first word of each line, unless it begins with a new sentence. It's kind of old fashioned to capitalize each first word, But I guess it's a matter of choice. |
|
|
I love this. So delecate and beautufull. It is very similar to some of my works.
I definatley relate to "falling over me like stars...” I have spent many nights on the beach at home with the full galaxy of stars painted across the night sky feeling like that.
Peter |
|
|
| I often think that the part about falling in love- for the forever- is the idea of coming to fruition in this world w/ someone else. Loved the idea of stars washing over |
|
|
| Simply beautiful =) <3 |
|
|
Poetry strikes us all different doesn’t it? This is your poem, but the easiest way to comment is just to show you what I mean. I find poems memorable because they are tight, each line bloom in my mind and fall off my tongue. Washing and raining go together, but I didn’t see the connection with “stars” – you can add a connection with the word radiance (it can wash, fall, rain).
Falling asleep
Your hand in mine
At mid-night waking up
Awash with radiance
Your voice falling over me like stars
Raining from heaven on my heart
Telling me you love me
Watching your face as you sleep
Like an angel - peaceful
This is how I want to grow up
Grow wise - grow old
Together
You have my heart
I can't imagine it any other way...
Blessings! |
| 1 2 Next |
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
