Freedom



She opened the door and looked down at the floral print rug that had been passed down to her from generations of old maids and spinsters. Looking at the faded blue flowers, she tried to imagine how many dusty boots and passers by had been the source of the wear and tear of the thing. The frayed edges reminded her of the way she felt on a daily basis. Worn and old.
'I believe in love,'� she'd told her mother when questioned about her current single state. ' I know it's out there for me somewhere. I just haven't found it yet.'� She'd said the words so convincingly, yet she was not sure that there was any conviction behind them.
So many mornings she stood in front of the mirror looking for the flaws that she knew had to be there, trying to find, in the nooks and crannies, the repulsive little monsters that were driving love further and further away from her. Day after day she found nothing that would explain the emptiness of her arms and the gaping hole in her chest that threatened to take her whole.
From weeks, to months, to years she searched and waited for the love that she knew was rightfully hers, finding none. It seemed all those around her had blossoming love buds and a plethora of dreams come true. She secretly fell apart. In the vast emptiness of her existence, she felt as though she would drown in her despair. She fought to keep afloat. Most days she maintained a steady pace that kept her head above water, but one day the, seemingly, insurmountable waves of sadness overtook her and she lost herself completely. She felt as though she had been sucked into a cold black hole and she would never see light or feel warmth again. In this state she existed for what seemed like an endless amount of time. To her friends and family she was still living, but inside she felt dead and hollow. Occasionally, she could hear echoes of her former self reverberating within her shell, but the remnants bounced of her empty interior only to become unfamiliar noise and fade into nothingness.
From a deep sleep, one night, she woke with a start from a dream of dark things finding herself in an unfamiliar empty space. The room was dark, but she could see everything around her with perfect clarity. Strangely, she was unafraid. Something in her told her that she was safe in this place, but also that she was not alone. She thought to get out of bed when she realized she was already standing. Again, she stood completely unafraid waiting for what was there to show itself. Then, without warning, the room went white and the light that filled the space was so blinding and hot that it burned her eyes. Her body became warm and her heart sank. Her eyes began to fill with tears and she fell to her knees as though someone was forcing her down. She tried to cry out, but nothing came from her lips. She quivered with her eyes to the ground and then felt something wrapping itself around her. It felt like she was embraced by warm velvet. The feeling engulfed every inch of her, from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. With the warm embrace came a fragrance. The smell was not one she could name. The scent permeated her entire being. She tried to identify it. It smelled like cookies and warm laundry and the scent of her mother's perfume and damp air after a storm. She knelt there paralyzed but not in fear'�in something else'�in love and in comfort. She began to cry out in loud sobs as the sensations overtook her. Her cries seemed to fill all the empty space. She felt a burning in her chest. The feeling consumed her and lost her will to fight against it. Then as it had begun without warning, so did it end. She collapsed on to the floor. She was drained of all of her energy, but her mind was strangely alert. She lie there motionless and tired. She had stopped crying and now felt a calm rush over her like a gust of cool air. The room seemed to shake and there was a pounding all around her. She was startled to realize that it was her heart. She marveled at how loud it was in her chest and how violently it's beating shook her. Then everything quieted in and around her. She held perfectly still when she heard a whisper. Though the voice was soft she heard the words well. 'Where you were empty you are now full. Where you were lost you are now found. I have turned your sorrow to dancing and your mourning to joy. I have taken your ashes and given you beauty. Now, go and be free.'�

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