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Addicted to you
Desire for you
From the first sound I hear awaken
Your glow warms my hands when I surround them amongst you
That smell,...piercing my soul,...surrendering by the sense
My lips tremble by the first touch,...dampen,....smiling in the moment
Your bitter strong taste, pure,...that dark skin,...reflections in a mirror
Searching your way down,...soothe my heart,....
Tomorrow we will meet again,..my sweet first cup of coffee in the morning
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Comment by: BooBear - 2007-09-24 18:01
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Oh my goodness, Basil, that was awesome. I laughed and had to share this with my best friend.
Her comments were:
sarah: wow, way to make coffee sound erotic, I like it
I don't drink coffee so I don't know about the love that people have for the stuff. My sister has given it to me when I've had a migraine... don't like it (yuck). You on the other hand make it sound wonderful. No that does not mean that i will try it again..lol.
Keep up the good work. |
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Comment by: Juan2 - 2007-09-21 13:00
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I like the double meaning in this. It is very sensual, so much that I can't help but imagine the last line as a term of endearment for the dark-skinned, bitter strong woman. Good description, way to lead us along.
"Girls just juantu have fu-un. Oh yeah, girls just juantu haave fun." |
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| I love a good flip of expectation. Especially when I can relate; coffee is just one of those amazing drinks that can be compared to a lover. Good write, the sensory details really build the reader's assumptions about them, and the twist happens as quite a surprise. I liked the suddenness the poem ended with. |
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Comment by: Dundano - 2007-09-19 13:30
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| This was a great read! I was so sure it was a sensuous poem about a lover and then you went another way, although it could still be one or the other couldn't it? I really enjoyed reading this. |
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Comment by: SacredV - 2007-09-19 12:55
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| This is fun...good usage of trickery by leading the reader in one direction and in the end meaning an entire other. Its sensual yet fun and I enjoyed reading it. Good Job! I LOVE the title as well.. |
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