“Puff The Tragic Wagon”


Luke and Tara had just hit town and wanted some supper, so, they decided to grab the company car and go find a Chinese restaurant.
“Joe said there’s a good one down this way, Luke.” Tara said pointing east.
“Oh, yeah? …okay, sounds good to me!” He replied as they approached the old beat up suburban that was parked in front of their terminal.
Luke jumped right in before taking a good hard look at the vehicle, he was too hungry to care what the thing looked like as long as it had four wheels, a motor and steering wheel.
Tara, on the other hand, stood outside and leaned in to inspect it before she got in. That was all it took, as she cried out “Luke! …look at what’s holding the front seat up!”
Seeing the broom handle wedged at the back of the front seat, Luke began laughing hysterically. Tara stood outside staring in at him like he had lobsters crawling out of his ears, which made him laugh even harder.
“Man! …This thing reminds me of some of the cars I had when I was a teen-ager!” he managed to get out before cracking up again. But Tara still didn’t see the humor in any of this.
“Well“, she started, “I guess that explains what they call this thing…” shaking her head disgustedly.
Luke was trying to calm himself down. “What’s that?” he asked, just chuckling now.
“Puff the tragic wagon“… Tara said smiling.
Oh, that was it for Luke. He had tears rolling down his face now. Tara started, too.
It took both of them a few minutes to calm down enough so that Luke would be able to see to drive.
“Well, shall we go to dinner, my love?” Luke asked dramatically.
“Yes, let’s go“… she sighed.
Bowing, Luke exclaimed, “your chariot awaits, my queen!”
“Some chariot!” Tara replied.
So, they both climbed in and as they leaned back, the broom handle shifted and they fell back to the floor. Again Luke became hysterical and Tara - indignant.
They both pulled themselves up and got out to “fix” the front seat before trying it again.
This time the broom handle held and Luke maneuvered Puff into traffic.
He was snickering now and looking over at Tara just made it even funnier to him.
She shot a worried look back and asked if he thought it was safe to even drive.
“Why sure it is, honey!…the company wouldn’t let us use it if it wasn’t. Besides, I really did have worse looking vehicles when I was a kid and they were all safe.”
His words seemed to ease her mind a little so she changed the subject.
They were enjoying a nice conversation when they both noticed the signal light up ahead turn red. They were descending a big hill and Tara decided to remind Luke to start slowing down when all of a sudden she heard a loud grinding noise coming from around the front tires.
“Luke! …what’s that?…why aren’t you slowing down?”
“I’m trying to, Tara! …the brakes are gone, they’re metal to metal!” He answered, not looking over at her.
“Luke stop!” she pleaded as she braced her feet against the windshield and threw her hands up towards the ceiling of the old suburban bracing herself for impact.
But he was too busy trying to slow the runaway car down to answer. He began pumping the pedal and after a few jabs, they grabbed but not in time to stop for the red light.
So, he laid on the horn as they raced through the intersection and once they were safe, he turned to look at his horrified wife.
She was a sight! …both feet planted on the windshield and both hands glued to the ceiling…her eyes the size of baseballs. Now he busted out laughing again.
They did make it to the restaurant safely and enjoyed a great meal.
But when it came time to head back, Tara was all for calling a taxi and letting the company tow Puff back to the terminal.
Luke just grinned back at her.
“What, and miss out on all the fun we’d have if we drove back?…Not a chance!”
She grudgingly followed her husband through the parking lot and then climbed into the miserable thing.
The ride back mirrored the ride out, as Luke again had to play with the brakes to get them to work. And once again, Tara screamed for Luke to stop, as she held on for dear life.
At one point, Tara sighed with relief as she commented about Puff not having any signs on it that would identify it as being the company car. But Luke had to burst her bubble on that one…
“Oh yeah there is, honey, right here,” he said reaching his arm out the window and pointing down at the driver’s door.
“Oh God, I want to die!” Tara groaned.
Once they’d gotten back to the terminal safely and climbed out, Tara swore she’d NEVER get in to that contraption again!
Luke was still chuckling. “You wouldn’t have liked my cars when we were kids.” He said.
But she didn’t answer. She just shook her head and said “Puff the tragic wagon”.

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