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irmosmp
Wayne Cousins
United States, South Carolina

Words: 131
Access: Public
Comments: 1

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Make Kings

She made kings of me
then dispersed my dynasty
assured the queens theyd be
within earshot of safety
My princes came to see
the site their fathers stand and weep
tonight, the tears bury deep
the candle light, but the
ruins all remain
My sweet daughters' dreams
were punctured wide, dreams
their mothers learned to keep
inside, like a shelter from the
sun we hide, or during the fallin rain
Oh poor knights she did
deceive your might, we know
you can't believe the fright
you felt tonight, you acceeded
my expectations yet again.
and proud men who never leave
the fight, and women who
make feed from strife, and
children that don't believe in time,
their faces never change.
she made kings of me
then dismissed my monarchy

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Comments  
MarkAikins Comment by: MarkAikins Online- 2007-10-01 14:46
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I am impressed by your poetry, Wayne.

You have a very childlike maturity in your voice. Knowhatimean?

Normally I'd suggest more thorough punctuation, but I sense a deliberateness in how you salt it in, so I'll reserve judgment.

Also the internally placed rhymes are quite unique and ad to the charm of the rhythm. Your piece reminds me a bit of a medieval kind of heroic poem with its kings, queens, princes, etc. Kinda like my "Beloved Battle" poem I finished and posted the other day (hint, hint)

I look forward to more...

Blessings.
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By irmosmp

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