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YeOldeFart
Dennis Newman
United States, OR, Springfield

Words: 319
Access: Public
Comments: 11

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The Lone Prairie Saloon

I was sitting at the bar watching the beads of condensation run down my glass when the light dimmed. The other patrons looked around; I looked toward the door. It could be only one thing. Yep, I was right, Al Carty stood in the entrance adjusting his eyes to the gloom.
“Al,” The bartender yelled, “Take that damn hat off, you’re blocking the ambient light.”
“Ambient light?” Al said, “Where’d you learn that word, Mr. Funk and Wagnall?”
Al ambled over and hitched one huge butt-cheek onto the stool next to me.
“What does ambient mean? He said under his breath, then yelled, “Hey Mr. Funk, if you can drag your old bones this far bring me a long-neck Lone Star. You ready for another one, Dennis?”
“Don’t piss Hulshizer off. He’s pouring the beer.
“Better to be pissed off than pissed on, ain’t it?”
“Yeah, maybe so,” I said, “My glass is almost full, I’m good for a bit.”
“Damn I’m thirsty,” Al said and in one motion grabbed my glass, drained it, and slammed it on the bar. “Bring Dennis another one.”
Al and I sniffed the air simultaneously. “What’s that smell?”
“Smells like cow shit.“ I said.
“Sure nuff.” Al wrinkled his nose.
“Must be Arley.” I said.
“Arley! Scrape your boots off before you step through that door.” Hulshizer yelled. “You know the rules here. Damn ranchers,” He muttered. “They’re so used to that aroma they think nobody else can smell it.”
Arley ripped a couple chords off on his guitar, leaned it against the jamb, and took his boots off. He dropped them next to the steps outside and padded inside in his stocking feet. Everybody looked at each other. “Put your boots back on.” We chorused.
“Man, the things you put up with in cattle country,” Hulshizer said and opened another long-neck Lone Star.

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Comments  
DavidHe Comment by: DavidHe Online- 2008-01-09 04:45
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A vey interesting story tell us more than fun! Obviously it is a story that comes from real life! Well done!
YeOldeFart Comment by: YeOldeFart - 2007-10-02 07:15
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OK, OK, I thought it was obvious. I didn't react when Al drank my beer because he immediately ordered another one for me. Hey, the man was thirsty. I'm always glad to help out a buddy.
carriedale Comment by: carriedale - 2007-10-02 06:43
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Dennis, Dennis! You are too funny. I love these stories you ol' fart knockers have been telling involving all of ya'll together! They are just a joy to read especially when you need a chuckle.
"what does ambient mean?- needs quotation marks
this far- needs a comma
"...he's pouring the beer- needs quotations
"Damn I'm thirsty- needs a comma after damn

like I said though, this was a joy to read...and I wanna know why you didn't react when Al drank your beer too- that's a party foul and every one knows it! Shame on you Al, not the proper beer drinking etiquette! Looks like I'll have to belly up to the bar and teach all you boys a few manners!
csfastweb Comment by: csfastweb - 2007-09-30 22:23
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Hilarious! A nice little bit of fiction. I'm not sure if you're actually considering a revision, so let me just leave a comment on one thing that struck me funny:

Why didn't you react when Al drank your drink?
Arley Comment by: Arley - 2007-09-28 21:10
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Hamish, I was deliberating - vacillating back and forth on whether or not to do it - but you convinced me pal. One more Coors Light before logging off!
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