I have lost all logic
I have done nothing extravagant with my life
I am wasting away my last years'¦

I have lost all feeling
I have done the worst, simply watch and let it all slip by
I am slowly drowning'¦

I have lost all of my senses, I am numb
I have done what I thought was right
I am pathetic

I have lost what I fought so hard for
I have done incomprehensible feats
I am a failure

My body burns from within, red yellow, amber shining through with voracious beams of hatred and angst all compounding into one being'¦my problem'¦whatever I do, no matter how hard I strain to think through the ravaging evil that walks within my, my own spirit'¦I fail.

I fall out of the race, am held behind, kicked to the ground and thrown face first into the catastrophic magnitude'¦this huge problem as if thrown from a dark warrior upon a stallion all in black, death, death, as if death himself threw this bolt of lightning at me to cure me of my faults, henceforth bringing me under, to reality.

I can't leave, I can't swim, I can't run from this, nothing with help me, no one to turn to, it is likely I will not breathe the latter of my life, I will not prevail in the face of my shunned reality. I mustn't be so naïve as to believe I could escape this gore of a void they call life. What is it that I want? Not to die, but to at least prevail in the only aspect of life that will tear me allowing my entrails to drag across the ground collecting any dirt or foreign liquid they mesh and mingle with, mangled and demolished, I mull over my miraculous recovery, only to marry my dearest enemy, the stone beast of brutality that keeps me from breathing.

I fall from my mustang, the mane streaming through my hands, I have nothing to hold onto, I can't hold on'¦my hands have turned to two stumpy chunky trunks that couldn't grasp anything'¦I fall on my back, regain consciousness only to see the face of death'¦I have lost my grip on life'¦I have let loose the reigns of my life'¦I have lost the control to grasp something monolithic for a small, surreal, pure, sense of reality.

My faith in myself is gone, maybe I too'¦
'¦Am lost.

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