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Backing Out (Wee Story)
"Aw, come on. It'll be fun!"
Sheila looked up at the monstrous roller coaster, feeling slightly dizzy. "Easy for you to say, Jason. You know I'm not much for thrills.”
"This one's not that bad. Hell, my little brother rode it, and he was only ten."
Sheila was tired of being the scaredy cat. She knew this ride was safe, knew she wouldn’t die. Plus Jason would protect her. They’d been best friends forever.
"What the hell," she said, and they joined at least a hundred people already in line to ride The Beast.
Jason chatted non-stop but Sheila ignored him, choosing instead to watch the coaster trains slowly ascend the wooden tracks before plunging toward the ground.
Her stomach lurched. "I don't think I can go through with this."
She glanced behind her. At least thirty other people crowded in line behind the turnstile, eager to take the ride of their lives.
Sheila turned abruptly, elbowing her way past them until she found safe passage off the entrance ramp.
"Where you going?" Jason asked from his seat.
"The beer garden."
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| Thanks for the comments. These wee story challenges are a sure-fire way to jump-start the creative juices, better than any writing prompts I've seen. |
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Comment by: karjon - 2007-10-06 14:17
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This is a good one, Jane - though the ending is a wee bit of a let down, just a bit flat, if you know what I mean.
I think there should be a comma after 'Plus' - but that might just be me.
Thanks for the read - and the smiles.
Cheers
Karen |
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Comment by: Arley - 2007-10-06 09:30
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| When I was a kid we spent a summer in Boston. This made me think of a ride at Revere Beach called The Mouse Trap (scared the crap out of me). My sisters loved it, but I stayed with the safe ol' rickety-tracked roller coaster. There ain't enough money on God's green earth to get me back on one now, heh heh. Good one, Jane, can definitely relate to Sheila backing out! |
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Comment by: - 2007-10-05 14:27
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Very cute and for such a short piece you give us great insight into these two characters personalities. They are definately opposites at least in what they consider a thrill.
The dialog flowed well and I didn't see anything wrong with this piece. A nice quick and cute story.
p.s. - I hope after he's done riding, he doesn't drink at the beer garden - could get ugly. |
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Hahaha, my sentiments exactly! Jane, I'd be joinin' you in the Beer Garden!
Delightful wee story! |
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