writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
antunes
Ana C. Antunes
Brazil, Santos (My treasured Island)

Words: 253
Access: Public
Comments: 8

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




All The Way (A Weepy Wee)

Skipping to escape the rain, they ran to a delicatessen near the Palace in Versailles. Her fingers drowned on strawberry sauce. His thin index fingers flipped like two sticky legs on a stinky plate of hot sausages. She drooled and drizzled the weeping sauce over her sweater. Wicked weak and wacky, he freaked out, rolling his eyes out of their orbits, horrified.

'Oh Gosh, he's having epilepsy or a heart attack. Somebody help!' She looked for help.

Averting her gaze, he scratched and stretched mercilessly the corner of his eyelid with his little finger, in disapproval. He picked his nicked neck, leaving a pink spot on his pale skin. He was terrified by her manners and the way she ate that crepe Suzette. He came from a Swiss family, so he liked neat things.

'I came from an austere Austrian-German family,' she shouted, 'I need fork and knife.' He smirked.

'How am I supposed to eat properly, not poorly, if the jelly pours through my fingers?' She screamed. He laughed, while she tried to avoid the berries from being wasted.

Splashed and ditched the dish.

'You wouldn't hate her, if you ate her...'

His gorgeous eyes opened wide as his gorge rose at the sight of her hand, a fleeting glance. He turned his back, probably to ruminate upon what he'd told her, so embarrassed... or not. He was contemplating in the mirror the handshaped red mark she'd just left on his rosy cheek swell.

'...unless she loves you...'

Want to comment on this Short Stories?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Short Stories and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
antunes Comment by: antunes - 2007-11-01 11:02
Add to Readers
      
For all matters (and manners) this is a true account. If the word counts, he also ain't a Count, you can count on. And the girl had problems managing the crepe, such a creep!! But let's face it: being superficial, super-facial and super-fashion can really get you into troubles, for sure! Thank you all for your comments.

And have a blast!
mynamelez Comment by: mynamelez - 2007-10-29 00:32
Add to Readers
      
This story reminds me of a quote from Archy & Mechitabel, by Don Marquis
"i do not think a prudent one
will ever aim too high
a cockroach seldom whips a dog
and seldom should he try"

I liked your story Ana and found it quite witty.
Table manners can be important. Sometimes the triffling of vices can turn out to be the cause of an eventual separation later on.
antunes Comment by: antunes - 2007-10-27 20:28
Add to Readers
      
The original Frank Sinatra's song "All The Way" has 2:53 minutes long, hence my word count.
antunes Comment by: antunes - 2007-10-08 10:53
Add to Readers
      
Thank you for your tip, I will surely try to hold the horses and sublimate my impulses on using a literal fixation. "A little is a lot", that will be my motto for now on. Have a Blast!
Kowalski Comment by: Kowalski - 2007-10-08 10:42
Add to Readers
      
I like the poetic quality of this very much, also I have quite a soft spot for obscure writing that challenges the reader. Reading your cmment I think we'll get along just fine. Might want to go easy on the alliteration.... a little goes a long way. Great work!
1 2 Next

Sponsored Ads


By antunes

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S