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Orion is lazing on the horizon.
We are covered in blankets that are absorbing
this night.
Drenched with it,
for days after.
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Great piece Rachel. I got a little stuck on the "that is" too. I recon you could lose the 'with it' as well. Like I said, I really like this piece, .... :)
"Covered with blankets that is absorbing" - you can cut out the "that is" and just say, "covered with blankets absorbing (this night)". I don't quite get what is being drenched. If you tighten the language a little, I think it could give some interesting imagery.
