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I you ever believed in me
Show me how
You walk away
Twist the thorn in my side
Life and death is what is brought to each of us
You betrayed a sacred order
I cannot give you until the end of time
To make it right
Don’t let me die in wrapped in uncertainty
Time is the continuum in which death thrives
Life gives
Breath remains
Love lingers
All of all
Yet…
Only you and I
Here now,
Caught in this mortal coil
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I try to prescribe to a freedom of verse, I don't think of them as sentences. I find your comments often to hung up on grammar. I think poetry can have a style that transends the boundries of grammar strictures, like Ginsberg and Kerouac. Sometimes you need to break all the rules to get your meaning across. But, thanks for the technical input.
some of the sentences are kind of funky: "I you ever believed in me"?? and "All of all". I really really liked the title though. Reminds me of Lacuna Coil (that's good thing!)
