The Bricks of the Tower Chapter Two

The day went on as any other day did. Larry Coburg had little to say to anyone and in turn little was said to him. Some might comment that this, combined with his home life, made for a quite lonely existence. But to Larry it was simply how life was, it felt normal enough, or correction, it didn’t feel at all. And it was that absence of feeling that made his situation seem safe and livable.
In the middle of the day Larry was given his smoke/lunch break and took it with much gusto. There, out among his fellow workers, Larry was free to let his senses flow, the smell of cigarette ash comingled with the scent of burnt paper created an aroma significantly less than intoxicating.
“Larry,” a voice, feminine yet commanding, Larry turned and found himself face to face with Cindy.
“Yes?” Larry asked, not wanting to say too much for fear of waking from his dream.
“Do you have a light?” she asked while holding out a sadly unlit cancer stick. Larry obliged and lit her cigarette. For a time the two merely stood out in the corporate yard, smoking and trying to ignore that feeling that welled up behind their eyes. That crushing sense of their day being only a fraction over and so much more mindless labor and wasted time needed to facilitate their earning a meager pay. It didn’t matter, Larry thought to himself, being near her, why today? He asked. Why can’t I say anything?
“I couldn’t help but overhear, and sorry to sound like I was eavesdropping, but you’re going to that jazz event at the Moon Dust bar?” Cindy asked, exhaling some cancerous smoke into the air in such a way that Larry wanted to breathe it all in and die quickly.
“Yeah, me and Horace I think, he’s more into the jazz thing than me,”
“Really?”
“Oh yes, I like it enough though,” Larry was groaning inwardly. Lord almighty he hated the innocuous give and take of normal conversation. He wondered if it was like this in other languages, if so little could be discovered despite the potential use of a nearly infinite amount of words?
“That’s interesting Larry,” Cindy said. More smoking, more silence. Nothing passed between the two for more increments of time. As if reflecting his inward frustration in a sense, Cindy sighed and looked at Larry. “I notice you Larry,”
“What?” he asked in self defense.
“I notice when you look at me, every time I come into the office,”
Larry felt his thought process hit what felt like an actual physical snag in his neural network. Dots exploded in his vision as if whole worlds had been hinging on his secret lust for Cindy, all held up by such delicate strings over such a ferocious blaze of truth and viciousness.
“I don’t, I mean…I’m not…” I’m not the only one who looks, he meant to say.
“You don’t have to be so nervous, I’m not offended if that’s what you’re afraid of,” Cindy said. Larry practically choked on his cigarette smoke. Of all of his fears, and there were many, that was paramount among them, being discovered and laid bare, his desires for her, or any woman.
“I’m sorry if I offended you, I just looked…to look I guess, I’ll stop if you want,” Larry said, not wanting to give too much positive credence to his voyeuristic tendencies. Cindy laughed. She laughed and Larry felt like vomiting.
“I think I’ll go with you to that jazz thing, if you don’t mind, it’s tonight right?” she asked. Larry felt himself nod but cared to wonder if he himself actually willed the action. Cindy dropped her cigarette and ground it into oblivion. With a smile and a wave she walked away. Larry wasn’t sure if he could breathe or if he wanted to. With a mechanical piercing shriek emanating from the megaphones situated around the office building of Choude Gabs Inc., the break was over and Larry was sent back to blacken and obliterate his quota of papers today as opposed to his own lungs.
He had an odd feeling in his chest and down his throat, how weird, he thought. She talked to him, dark haired dark eyed Cindy and he wasn’t terrified, and the sense of paralysis passing through his body felt momentary, if significant at all. Had he evolved in those few moments? Become just a little stronger, a bit more fit to survive due to that one encounter? Could a woman have really awakened this, with an ability he couldn’t understand, yet lust for that feeling, that momentary sense of completeness?
Before Larry returned to his office he recalled in his thoughts Cindy as she turned to look at him, their eyes meeting. Certainly this wasn’t love, not a human thing called love. But he swore in those eyes he saw the bottomless crater of his dreams that held the darkness of all that came before creation.

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