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Funkylele
Daniele Ponzi
Canada, Ontario, Toronto

Words: 93
Access: Public
Comments: 3

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Eye Speak

I am not eloquent
In your grammar of glances,
Strange syntax of stares
The argot of your eyes.

A subtle puissance
Veiled behind each look,
Echoes in dark wells,
Dilating Iris all a
Liquid language,
Artful ethereal alphabet
A dance of glances.

Idiom's Idiot
I ache to understand
Each shimmering
Glimmer's cant.
That insight
Might provide security
Some semblance of control.

A slippery stone
Relentless truth
Prevails in viscera.

The mystery of
Familiar unknown eyes
Lushious like quicksand
Alluring cryptogram
Taunts and invites...

This chain upon my heart
Becomes both price and prize

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Comments  
mitra Comment by: mitra - 2007-10-18 21:30
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Beautifully written. The variety of descriptions in such a limited scope of the eyes is amazing. Maybe not so limited afterall. :)
akabinny Comment by: akabinny - 2007-10-18 21:22
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I think it's very beautiful and inviting, but I will agree with David Floyd. It's a little wordy, and not entirely accessible. Good work.
David Floyd Comment by: David Floyd - 2007-10-18 11:24
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Really like:
"I am not eloguent
In your grammar of glances"

That's a really good start.

Some of the rest seems a bit too clever for its own good. I had to get the dictionary out for 'puissance' for example. Although maybe it's used more in Canada than it is here in the UK.

There's a lot here but I think the poem is in danger of being drowned in technical devices.
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By Funkylele

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