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Under No Circumstances
"Under no circumstances can I stay.Your chosen profession has taken its toll on us,I have to walk away and I'm only thankful that there no children to drag away from this treacherous ordeal." I replied to my on again off again flame of 13 years. He turned his head and smiled wryly followed by his last words. "Under no circumstances will we make it outta this car alive." My last thought before the car plummeted into the water was whoever said the postman is the most crazy, didn't date a cabbie.
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Comment by: Cherley - 2008-02-01 19:50
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I forgot to say thank you so much for signing my guestbook on my webpage: http://www.freewebs.com/cherley/guestbook.htm
I really appreciated it. It's a fun little map. |
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Comment by: Cherley - 2008-02-01 19:48
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| Great little flash. I liked it. Here's an Oops! I have to walk away and I'm only thankful that there (are) no children to drag away from this treacherous ordeal |
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Fab read...love the twist at the end. Agree with Karen on the blips, but a unique take on the challenge.
Nice one! :) |
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Comment by: L J - 2007-10-23 10:59
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| I like the last words but didn't expect the last thoughts bit. The postman must be a regional thing. With the corrections made, you're sure to have a great flash here. Life is all about choices, this came to me after I read this. Perhaps a postman would have been better than a cabbie. |
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Comment by: karjon - 2007-10-23 08:33
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Hi Crystal
I like this - nice dark humour. The punctuation is a bit off. I'd suggest something along the lines of:
"Under no circumstances can I stay. Your chosen profession has taken its toll on us. I have to walk away, and I'm only thankful that there are no children to drag away from this treacherous ordeal," I replied to my on-again, off-again flame of thirteen years.
He turned his head and smiled wryly, followed by his last words. "Under no circumstances will we make it outta this car alive."
My last thought before the car plummeted into the water was, whoever said the postman is the most crazy didn't date a cabbie.
Just my thoughts to take or leave as you please, as always.
Thanks for the read (and the warning about cabbies).
Cheers
Karen |
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