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When Sometimes Shattered--
When sometimes shattered, we seek to save ourselves as best we can.
Preferring to suffer in silence and to cry alone--
Than have pity place us in a lower rank, we writhe
In darkened corners crumbling at the edges of sanity--
Almost, but not yet too far gone to feel the pain.
Bemoaning lost chances, lost words that dissipated
Like dew in the mid-morning sun, we grieve,
And our darkened world keeps spinning, spinning, spinning--
Into the early morning hours as we toil
To put the tiny pieces back in place...
And hope against all hope that when the glue is dry,
We will at least resemble something of our former selves-
So that none will be the wiser.
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Comment by: chgreen - 2007-11-04 08:45
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| I suppose the capitals could serve as a distraction. I am a bit old school in that manner. But I am considering change. Especially in light of your poem, "The Tao of Progress," which I thoroughly enjoyed. |
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Yes, lots of poets capitalize every line, but I think it's distracting. It leaves one less tool for handling written language. In particular I am thinking of "...alone -- Than have ... writhe In darkened ..." Don't those capital letters strike you as senseless convention? Just a passing observation.
The thought, the flow of the piece is pellucid and wise. This poem reveals a gracious and growing spirit. |
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Comment by: chgreen - 2007-11-03 07:43
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| Thanks you for your input. |
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| Oh , how I know this place. Wonderfully captured - love this . |
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"Everyday business is an everyday bride" That is my motto and I feel you when you point out that our world darkens and spins because we are a turmoil of emaotions, thoughts and incoherent ideas that sooner or later will come to make sense. Whatever lessons you take out of life you forever cherish them because in human's nature (our nature)we are too proud to want to hit the floor again.
Great piece of work!!! And TRUEEEE!!
~Blessings,
*~Gloriam~* |
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