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can you see the angels daddy
can you hear them sing
can you see their long white dresses daddy
and their large silver and gold wings
their all around you daddy
can you feel their touch
can you see them dance daddy
I like it very much
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This is an excellent poem, Melissa. I can even hear it, in my head, as a song.
The only advice I will offer is that "their" at the start of line 5 should be "they're" (because what you are really saying in that sentence is "they are all around you...". 'They're' is a shortened form of "they are").
Keep writing, by all means. It is clear you are talented, so keep writing!
