writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
pyromaniac
Melissa Elliott
Australia

Words: 47
Access: Public
Comments: 1

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




Angels

can you see the angels daddy
can you hear them sing
can you see their long white dresses daddy
and their large silver and gold wings
their all around you daddy
can you feel their touch
can you see them dance daddy
I like it very much

Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
hx Comment by: hx - 2007-11-20 08:39
Add to Readers
      
This is an excellent poem, Melissa. I can even hear it, in my head, as a song.

The only advice I will offer is that "their" at the start of line 5 should be "they're" (because what you are really saying in that sentence is "they are all around you...". 'They're' is a shortened form of "they are").

Keep writing, by all means. It is clear you are talented, so keep writing!
1

Sponsored Ads


By pyromaniac

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S