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Torn
Your sound, dusk and rimmed with gold, sways from the tips of maple leaves to leave tendrils on my tongue
a taste wiry and flushed with heat
sometimes I can still sense
from under the surface of watery bed-stained red
that other, rusted cable
Taut within my heart’s caisson
and as you approach it’s all hum and ache
Our banter never quite passes for conversation.
And why is it that last night the numbers added up and the wine released its crimson warmth
like clockwork
and our mouths moved in liaisons under the strange salmon light
now all’s been decanted,
exposing the empty decanter’s drudge,
sediment
what’s most surprising is
how quickly
still
I regain my
breath.
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| This is a little sing-song and disorganised (for want of a better word), but somehow it and its theme are still very touching and sing-song like. Well written! |
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| This is a gorgeous poem! I read it...three times. I really connected with this on this unusual Sunday afternoon. I suppose all I have to say is...thank you for writing it. |
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Comment by: ac7904 - 2008-02-18 18:32
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| Wow, thanks Julie. That mistake has been long overdue to be fixed... |
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just a question----
in this part--Taunt within my heart’s caisson
and as you approach it’s all hum and ache
did you mean TAUT? instead of Taunt?
taunt just doesnt seem right in this poem....
best-
NJ |
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| I love the sentiment behind this piece. When I read poetry I love it to be authentic and have an impact and in my opinion that is what your piece had. As I read it I wanted to hear more and more. It was really easy to comprehend and stood strong. “Torn” is an excellent poem, well done!! |
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