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Overreaction
Doll-baby called.
“I'm sooo sorry," she said, "for tossing my Cosmo in your face...”
“So charming!”
“...and slapping you.”
“Really, I deserved it.”
“Well, the knee to the groin was excessive.”
“Hey, I got back up, didn't I?”
“My pepper spray didn't help.”
“Everyone needs a good cry.”
“How's your back? My stiletto heels?”
"The surgery went well."
“So you're ready to try again - if you're man enough.”
“I never knew asking for a date could be so... fulfilling.”
“Or turning one down so... rewarding.”
“Doll-baby, we're made for each other.”
“In your dreams, bitch." [click!]
She loves me!
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Scary thing is I been there. The other side of it, where it's combat boots instead of stiletto heels, but it's all the same.
This made me laugh hard, and kinda want to write an answering piece. |
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| Gosh, that made me laugh. The lines are in perfect rhythm. It's been a while since I've read something of yours. This was short but did not dissappoint. |
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| Actually, the last line was the guy answering the phone - his pov - but that's my fault for not making it clear. I made a two-word change that clarifies. |
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Comment by: karjon Online- 2007-10-25 11:10
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You just had me googling a song I heard years ago about S&M - the only line I could remember was 'you can tap dance on my belly'. I wish I hadn't googled S&M or that line.
Anyway - yes, great wee story, James - excellent dialogue. My only quibble is with the last line which takes us out of the scene and into authorial intrusion, but it's a small quibble.
Thanks for the read and the smiles.
Cheers
Karen |
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| Hahaha...Sounds like my gay neighbors in San Diego. What a pair. Pinching was their thing, though. And biting till the lips bled. *sigh* Love! |
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