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Comment by: mrose - 2008-04-30 04:13
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| exellently written. very descriptive to the moment. |
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| Wonderful piece. You really captured the moment. |
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| This piece is Beautiful :) |
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It was so beautiful, so innocently written. A first kiss is a memory of a lifetime and when it is expressed in words like yours it becomes even special.
It was wonderful from beginning till the end.
great work! |
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this is very cute, i like the way it's written, carries the untouched/never been kissed theme well however...
maybe instead of saying "we passionately look each other in the eye", why not describe what about the look made it passionate? what did "we" see? does what we see have a color? shape? does it look like something?
same with the use of "seductive"
but otherwise great job! |
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